More on Disclosure

The question of disclosure has been weighing on my mind heavily as of late.  Under what circumstances should a psychopath or otherwise antisocial disclose their status and to whom?  I already see my antisocial readers rolling their eyes as they read these words.  “No true antisocial would reveal themselves,” they probably are thinking.  I certainly can understand that as the degree of disorder rises, the inclination to disclose weakens.  However, I do believe that there are matters that affect psychopaths that today’s zeitgeist of being “more antisocial than thou” silence.  I have reason to believe that I am not the only antisocial individual that seeks a bond with the world.  I also have reason to think that a level playing field is agreeable to many antisocials.  The reasons may vary, but ultimately there are legitimate thoughts that would lead to disclosure.  The reception may – at this stage of human progress – be chilling and unilaterally hostile, with some exceptions, but this is part of the calculus that any antisocial must perform when determining how he wishes to relate to another human being.  I encourage all of my readers to put down their preconceptions and defenses for a moment and examine the charged subject of disclosure.

The primary motivator for the antisocial to disclose their status, I suspect, is a desire to make meaningful human connections.  I would be rich if I could profit over the lamentations of antisocial individuals that leave a trail of destruction in their interpersonal relationships and then complain that they are friendless and loveless.  As intimacy grows between two individuals, the desire to share more and more sacred information increases, further increasing the intimacy of those individuals.  Most people hide things because they are afraid that another person will judge them harshly based off some characteristic.  Yes, most would react poorly to a revelation of antisocial proclivity, but at the same time, those that weathered that storm would be infinitely more desirable to keep in the antisocial’s life, analogous to how many LGBT individuals cherish their allies – those that do not judge them.  I am unsure whether I would want to keep people in my life that could not handle my psychopathy.  I’ve written countless times of the fatigue I have with presenting a false face, and I do value those that see me for who I am and do not run.  I must perform my own calculus with respect to my feelings of desolation and solitude versus the state of being with others but as a false person.  I am conflicted, but I desire true company whether than faux interaction, so I am inclined to disclose.

I do not believe that everyone is entitled to knowing such knowledge.  The distinction that I make in terms of choosing whom to disclose to is the degree to which my interpersonal relationship is defined by choice.  If two individuals choose to be together as friends or lovers, then they should be consciously working toward strengthening that relationship at all times.  Deception is not a tool for such, regardless of intent.  On the other hand, those relationships that are based in chance are less appropriate for a revelation of this magnitude.  Why?  These individuals have limited ways out if they cannot deal with such truth.  As such, family does not need to know in the same manner as those that could reevaluate an interpersonal relationship on their own terms.  This reasoning is dictated by my longing for an equal playing field.  What I mean by this is that two individuals should have legitimate input and defenses in an interpersonal relationship.  What fun is there in manipulating if the target has no chance of fighting back?  What honor is there in taking advantage of another person when they cannot defend?  Not all antisocials believe in this principle, but it is a convoluted code that I hold myself to.  That said, I didn’t always have such a code.

We all get out of interpersonal relationships energy proportional to that which we are willing to put in.  If one or both individuals are unwilling to put forth a good faith effort, than what is the point of the relationship?  As part of making connections with other people, especially those that are close enough to be considered friends or partners, one should be ready to reveal themselves for who they are.  In this frame of mind, the prosociality is not as important as the intensity and intimacy gained within the interpersonal relationship by being transparent.  Not everyone is entitled to the truth, and many will never disclose, but it should not be categorically off the table if an antisocial wishes to have a place in the world beyond friendless, destructive loner.  Maybe the reader finds such a position of objective desolation to be sufficient, but I do not.

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