Flying too Close to the Sun

I get it.  It is painful to get close to someone only to realize that they do not differentiate between you and a pile of dirt.  It shakes the soul to know that someone that you care about not only does not reciprocate your feelings but led you on under false pretense.  It hurts to know that another person could take all of your energy and give none back.  However, I am still convinced that these problems are not endemic to any one demographic, even if they may be more common in those without affective empathy.  At some point you have to take responsibility for flying too close to the sun.

I am not immune from the desires for company, and I too have been burned by inequalities in the energy given to  interpersonal relationships.  However, I do not feel any need to blame a diagnosis or subdemographic for what is ultimately a failure on my part – the failure to ensure that I am surrounding myself with healthy interpersonal relationships rather than unhealthy ones.  I have been treated just as I treat others: my hopes, worries, dreams, and insecurities have all been sucked beyond the event horizon.  But, I still do not feel any reason to generalize the treatment that I have received.  Maybe the person I was interacting with simply wasn’t as good a person as I thought them to be, and that’s okay.

To live is to be surrounded by all types.  There will be those that care too much and those that care too little and our minds and hearts rarely have rational say in whom we gravitate towards.  We owe it to ourselves to make those uncomfortable choices as to whom to keep in our lives and whom to let go.  I can’t say that I’m necessarily perfect on this front, either.  Desire will often trump reason.  But we cannot blame others when our wings melt because we chose to fly too close to the sun, knowing full and well what the sun is capable of.

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