The psychopath is self-centered, self-grandiose, and an all around megalomaniac.  I find that I grow more and more megalomaniacal as the days go on.  I’ve always had an insatiable ego and have tested the limits of interpersonal relationships with my intellectual vanity.  As I continue to write on the subject of psychopathy, in part due to a desire to understand my own inner workings and the condition I share with the silent millions throughout the world, I find that my ego continues to grow.  It will be interesting to see whether such narcissism causes me to crash and burn or to continue to fill a niche that remains relatively vacant.

My narcissism was one of the major clues to my therapist that something was “off” about me as a person.  Combined with my various antisocial actions of the past, she realized what it hinted at.  I would talk of myself constantly, which – in and of itself – is not unusual in therapy, and would do so to the complete exclusion of everyone else.  A lack of empathy does not necessarily imply a lack of acknowledgement of others.  Combine antisocial proclivities, said lack of empathy, and narcissism and you have something that closely resembles psychopathy, however.

I suppose that in many ways, I am the only person that matters in this world.  When I die, the world is dead to me.  While I am alive, so is the world.  My perceptions of the world are through my own eyes and my eyes alone, so why would I give weight to others in this world, except insofar as they serve me?   I do realize, intellectually, that this is not how the majority of the world works however.  The psychopath – and the narcissist – is unique in his ability to completely ignore others as being irrelevant.  Combine that with an over-inflated ego that is convinced that its fleshbag is superior to anyone else, sprinkle on some antisocial behavior and tendencies, and you have a time bomb.  It should be no surprise that there are relatively few successful psychopaths.  The rest crossed the line trying to satisfy their insatiable egos.

The psychopath is often at his most destructive when his ego is the hungriest.  He believes that he is supremely more important and more relevant than all others he encounters.  Combined with his antisocial nature and lack of empathy, this leads to a certain objectification of all those around him.  At its extreme, it leaves lives shattered: both the psychopath and those he encounters.