Will Anything Ever Satisfy? … Psychopaths and Boredom

When people say they are bored, they often mean that they simply are tired of the activity that they are engaging in and that something else would alleviate the unsettling condition.  For the psychopath, in general, there exists nothing that is satisfying for more than mere moments at a time.  The grandest scheme or affirmation of our self-grandiosity only registers in a positive manner for the briefest of time.  Endeavors and activities that don’t reach that level tend not to register at all.  It is the single most damnable aspect of the syndrome.

Imagine that you are stuck in a lecture hall listening to a boring presentation on a topic that you have no interest in.  Now, imagine that that presentation will never end until you die.  There is no hope of being stimulated.  There is no hope in becoming invested in the discussion at hand.  You are trapped in a living hell.  For many psychopaths, this is exactly what their eternal state consists of.  There is simply nothing that comes close to providing appropriate stimulation.

I’ve given presentations at international conferences.  I’ve done drugs and behaved in a near-continuous reckless manner for most of my life.  At no point did satisfaction last for more than a day – more often, a few minutes.  I keep searching for something that will satisfy my damnable boredom.  Stroking my ego or exciting my senses simply does not work.  I’m left in a state where I have a world of things that I could do, but I do none of them because I know that they all will fail to satisfy me in a meaningful and long-lasting fashion.  For instance, writing on this blog and discussing antisocial-spectrum features with my readers keeps me occupied, but occupation is not the same as being content with one’s state of being.  I am still bored.

I suspect this is why many psychopaths never mature.  We keep looking for a fix that will satisfy.  Unable to find anything sufficient, we turn to more and more extreme measures hoping that we can prove our condition wrong.  Some turn to violence and extreme antisocial behavior, not as a strategic measure, but simply as a way to try and satisfy their eternal boredom.  And, they never succeed.  A trail of destruction is left in their wake and they are no more satisfied than they were to begin with.  This restlessness and boredom with an unquenchable need for stimulation ultimately is the greatest curse of being psychopathic.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *