Psychopaths have weak identities in general. Our only constant is change. We are chameleons and we wear the personalities of those around us. I believe that the constant shapeshifting that we engage in leaves us with a very weak sense of identity. We can state facts about our being but we cannot articulate who the underlying person actually is. Our identities are like candle flames, dancing in the wind and ever-changing in color and shape.
The other night I spent a long time chatting with a reader of this blog. They were as perplexed as I when it comes to my difficulty articulating my identity. No, identity is not merely the recitation of facts. It is something deeper and it eludes me in full. They recommended that my identity is simply that of constant change. My identity is a lack of stable identity. My identity is ever-changing – and that, in and of itself, is identity.
Continue reading Candle Flames … Psychopaths and Identity
From my conversations with others (and my own experiences), psychopaths tend not to be loyal people. Nearly all interpersonal matters are selfish in nature for us. What have you done for me now? What are you doing for me soon? We are amnesiac, and the benefits of the past mean little if an acquaintanceship is not producing in the present.
Our cold indifference as we strike those diseased in the now from our lives strikes many as callous and it should. There is no empathic bond as we determine that the “best” of friends from the past are liabilities in the present. It matters not that another may have helped us through great struggle or have been there through great triumph. If a person is not producing – or worse, damaging – in the present, they are often shown the door by the psychopath. It’s not personal usually, it’s merely a consequence of the self-centered choosing the soil that is best for growth in the moment.
Continue reading Amnesia
One of the most unsatisfying aspects of the psychopathic condition is the ennui that is present as a result. Everything is tedious and relatively little satisfies for more than mere moments. No sense of accomplishment is enough to fuel the megalomania. No thrill is enough to relieve the boredom. Nothing is measurable in terms of enduring satisfaction. When others say they are bored, they often mean that they merely wish to read a book or do some other activity than that which they are currently engaged in. No, psychopathic “boredom” is much worse. There seems to be literally nothing to fill the void of our minds’ creation.
I am determined to gain something from this life however. I’m not one to race toward the worm-riddled wooden box at the end of this life. I’m in no hurry to leave even if I have little reason to stay. So, I’ve been left to find a purpose for this life: something that excites and something worthy of my own deep-seated narcissism. And, maybe I’ve found that purpose if only I can realize it.
Continue reading Fixer
I have added chat functionality to the site so that readers can chat with each other (or me) regarding psychopathic issues. You will need to register for a unique user name to chat by.
The login section is through the chat bar (at the bottom) itself. Chat is not available for mobile or tablet at this time.
Users can engage each other through direct message or participate in the main chatroom in the ‘chatrooms’ section of the chat bar.
The chats are logged, so please do not engage in illegal behavior.
I mentioned in the final post of the Psychopaths and Therapy arc that there were potential consequences of having a formal assessment of psychopathy. In the 1980s and 1990s in Texas, the consequences were especially severe – even if the diagnosis was not made through formal means. I implore all of my psychopathic brethren to keep in mind that restraint is key as the legal system is all but guaranteed to drop its hammer with a ferocity that most cannot comprehend. Why? All because you are psychopathic … or believed to be psychopathic.
It was a dark time for violent criminals in Texas during the time period mentioned above. Yes, many of the criminals that I speak of were unequivocally guilty of murder and other violent crimes, but they still deserved their due process. However, they would not get it. You see, their paths to sentencing lay through one man, Dr. Death himself.
Continue reading Bloody Passion Play … Psychopaths and Sentencing
A reader asked me the following question over on my tumblr.
Hello I love your blog, if you can give me tips in the perfect personality to mirror, I know that my behaviour can come of as strange, I just cannot find guidelines or a model to follow,
Appear invested, even when you are not.
Appear empathetic, even when you simply don’t care.
Appear knowledgeable, even if if you have to lie.
Charm others, make them feel important.
Tell the truth, it makes the occasional lie much more believable.
and … blindside them when it is advantageous.
Therapy for the psychopath is not without consequence, however. There are many benefits to exploring the self under the guidance under a trained mental health professional, but there is great caution that must be exercised due to society’s distrust of the antisocial. It is up to the individual to determine whether the knowledge gained is worth the risks involved.
There are two primary problems with seeking growth through a psychotherapist as an antisocial. First, the mental health system is often unwilling to treat antisocials. Second, a formal diagnosis that is recorded may be grounds for consequence in the future.
Continue reading Poltergeist … Psychopaths and Therapy (Part 3)
Psychopaths have difficulty with controlling impulses. Whether they are financial impulses, wanderlust, or violent in nature, these impulses can destroy the most stalwart individual. The realm of impulsivity is the most self-destructive aspect of the psychopathic condition and it is extremely difficult to rein in these destructive tendencies on one’s own when the individual seemingly knows no other way. To endure destruction due to one’s devastating actions with no hope of change on one’s own is to be flayed alive slowly. This post is a continuation of the previous post on therapy.
Part of the problem is that psychopaths may not know that there actions are abnormally impulsive. The other part is that once such knowledge becomes apparent, the psychopath may not know how to control their impulses into directed thinking. I did not know that I was “dangerously” impulsive. I knew that I was a drifter and a financial mess, but did not see the underlying theme. Once I saw that my ways did not serve me, I realized that I had no idea how to change my mindset. Or, at least change the outcome of my thoughts. Therapy is an excellent way to learn about these shortcomings and to come up with action plans for change.
Continue reading Control … Psychopaths and Therapy (Part 2)
My views on psychopaths undergoing psychotherapy are controversial. I believe that therapy can be useful for the psychopath with the caveat that the psychopath wish to understand themselves better and/or shy away from their antisocial actions. I am not naive enough to believe that my experiences with psychotherapy can be the norm for the psychopath. I have an excellent therapist who is not swayed by the taboo and, most importantly, I try to enter each session with an open mind. Therapy can only be as good as the weakest element of the two: therapist or client.
My primary motivation for continuing therapy – and for even agreeing to continue treatment once the words ‘antisocial’ and ‘psychopath’ were mentioned – is to know myself better with each session. I do not have a strong identity and I find it difficult to gauge my motivations and thought processes. The guidance of a trained mental health professional can do wonders for answering the latter even if the former seems destined to always elude me.
Continue reading Knowledge … Psychopaths and Therapy (Part 1)
A trend that I’ve noticed among the psychopaths that I communicate with is that we do not sit around granting our allegiance to those that do not benefit us. I first wrote on allegiance many moons ago. I wrote then that there was simply no point in allying oneself with those that do not offer some tangible benefit in the present. Whether it is the transgender woman hoping to reap the benefits of feminism or the polyamorous trying to benefit from the movement to redefine marriage in a more just fashion, there is simply little to gain from aligning oneself out of the “goodness of their heart.”
I am not feminist – nothing in it for me. I am not an ardent supporter of gay rights – nothing in it for me. I am not out advocating schizophrenia awareness – nothing in it for me. Too often, groups are shortsighted with their vision and apply their “progressive” natures only to their own cherished in-group. When I ask myself the question of “what have you done for me recently?” to these groups, the answer is nearly always the same: jack shit.
Continue reading What Have You Done For Me? – Psychopathic Allegiance (Part 2)