People want to feel that they are loved and that they are cared for. They want to feel special; they want to feel cherished. This primal need for many humans leads to their downfall. The psychopath may legitimately care, usually in a non-emotional way, about those he is close to. However, the psychopath also knows how to use perceived closeness as a way to get what he wants from another without the strings of a interpersonal relationship.
The key is exploiting others’ sense of trust and their need for acceptance and love. This can take the form of false friendships or relationships. I remember times when I would ‘befriend’ others simply because they would provide an immediate benefit. Maybe they would alleviate some boredom, maybe they would provide a free lunch from time to time, or maybe they simply were someone to hone my psychopathic skills on. I don’t believe that such was necessarily a detriment to the other person. Perception is reality; if they believe that all is well and genuine and it helps their state of being, then is there really any problem? Just because I will eventually leave such false friendships or relationships does not mean that they will have not gotten anything out of them. We both get what we want: I get my own personal benefit and they get a sense of love and acceptance.
This trait of people to expect unconditional acceptance confuses me. It seems illogical. I am a relative loner, needing only a few to adequately satisfy my boredom and to serve as confidants. I do not expect others to accept me unconditionally. I expect everyone to run the same calculations that I am computing. If I prove too much for someone, they should move on. If my psychopathy is a dealbreaker, they are free to leave. However, with most of my interpersonal relationships, I keep such traits hidden. I reveal little and ask a lot. I will make them feel what they want to feel and then disappear into the night if things are simply not worth it.
People want to feel that they are adored and cared for. The psychopath can provide this either via false interaction or by true respect. For those that I respect, I do try to show that I appreciate them and that they are valued. For those that I do not, I will show the same, but it will be under false light. I will make them feel loved and cherished so that they continue to provide reward. Ultimately this benefits both of us. They get the perceptions of warmth that they desire and I get a toy to play with as a please. Illogic lies in the heart. The logical and intellectual can use such flawed hopes and dreams of others in order to gain great benefit. For those that know I am psychopathic, and that I respect, I will be honest with them and let them know the limitations of my interactions. I try my damnedest to not lead such people down a path that I simply cannot provide light for. For everyone else, if I am going after your heart, it is not because I truly care, but because you simply are there for the taking.