People often do not want to hear the truth, but they label you as a scourge if you lie.

Lying comes very easily for me.  People are shallow and easy to read.  It is effortless to know exactly what they want to hear or what they need to hear in order to manipulate them into a desired result.  The lie I feel most pressured to project is that of empathic care.  It seems that nothing disturbs a person more than another that simply does not care about their lives and their suffering.  However, I do not lie to those I respect, especially if they know that I am psychopathic.  This also means I will not feign empathy for them either.

I remember when I was exiting a former residence.  My then roommate was a very good friend and I had told her that I was psychopathic.  Shortly after that disclosure she began to tell a story in which the parents, both of them, of a family she was friends with both overdosed within months of each other, leaving their children as orphans.  She tried to finish the story and then realized that I was sitting there staring at her with a look of curiosity and intrigue rather than empathic sorrow or horror.  She finally uttered: ‘you really don’t care, Anathema, do you?’  At that point I was honest and reminded her: ‘their sorrows mean nothing to me, but that is a very interesting story regarding the human condition.’  She was upset, but she understood.  It was not to my advantage to take off my mask in that situation, but I respected her too much to be anything but honest.

This is how most accounts that people give strike me.  They are interesting as far as our struggles and winnings go as a species, but they really do not strike an emotional chord.  I did really find it interesting that two parents could be so reckless with drug use while parenting small children.  I found it interesting that they gambled and lost, as that is not something I am accustomed to.  However, I could not drum up an emotional response as a result.  Things happen; people die.  Why would I waste my energy on such?

My reasons for dropping my mask with those I respect is twofold.  It is not that I value honesty in general.  However, since I respect them, I’m not going to belittle them by pretending to be what I am not.  The second, and more selfish, reason is that it simply is an excuse to not pour forth the energy required to partake in such inane emotion.  The side effect may be honesty, but it is not the primary motivation.  I am curious whether other psychopaths do the same with those that they respect.

People only want to hear the truth when it is convenient or in agreement with their own beliefs.  It is easy, as a psychopath, to realize the words that others want to hear.  It is harder, but beneficial, to be honest with those that know my status.  I may not be your shoulder to cry on, but I will never deceive you – should I respect you.  I will be honest and point out the darkness when others are engulfed by false light.

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