Humans have created two accepted structures of being that they wish to correlate perfectly with the two dominant sexes.  People tend to be wary of the butch female or the effeminate male.  The notion that certain manners of dress, of speaking, of walking, of relating are so intrinsically tied to biological sex has been engrained in us from the day blue cigars were laid out for your arrival as a male.  That physical/behavioral paradigm has been cemented since the day you put on your first dress.  That notion is bullshit.

Being free of the fixation of what is considered moral and what is considered immoral have allowed me to realize that there is absolutely no reason why anyone can’t present whatever gendered characteristics they wish, regardless of their biological sex.  In the end, we are all just trying to be comfortable in our own skin.  Being transgender, I am mostly comfortable in the body I’ve constructed.  Being psychopathic, I am comfortable behind the masks I present. Together, I am a constant shapeshifter.

I will often present more closely to one gender when in a family or date setting than I would when I go to a bar.  I will present the gender characteristics that I feel will be more likely to get me the results I want, be it sex, companionship, a job, help from the person across the street that is pining for me, whatever.  There may be characteristics that my natural state – these days – finds easier or more natural, but I am not above using gender as a means to manipulate and charm.  I am the world’s worst transgenderist in this regard.  Where others will become hypermasculine or hyperfeminine to escape their past, I embrace the ability to shapeshift at will, to move among the shadows from one form to another.

This is different than being genderqueer in most respects.  Those who are genderqueer tend to identify with neither dominant gender, but embark on their own journey free of the effect on their consciousness by others.  I do identify as both genderqueer and transgender for reasons I will gradually explain.  However, I use gender as a means of obtaining what I desire.  I work on people’s desires and assumptions regarding gender and leave them seeing what they want to see.  I use it to craft different personas with different people. Gender is merely a welcome disguise for me.

So yes, identify as whatever gender you want.  However, there are those of us out there that use gender as a prop, a visual and emotional device to gain control over whatever you hold that we want; if we are convincing with our gender sincerity, you won’t even realize you are being manipulated.  The next time a transgenderist tells you of their life-long plight, maybe you should wonder, in the back of your head, whether they are merely taking you for a ride.  They may be transgender, but they may also be using it for their own advantage.  I know that I am at this point.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *