The recent controversy surrounding Caitlyn Jenner, the affluent transwoman, and Rachel Dolezal, the NAACP official who is Caucasian but identifies as black, has brought an unholy storm upon social media. Those that are easily disgusted find that they are appalled at the seeming blurring of the lines of groups held sacred. The truth is, most neurotypicals are queasy about “out-group” members invading spaces that “do not belong to them.” Whether it is the transman transitioning from female to male or the black individual having a skin condition that makes them gradually look Caucasian, people are easily disturbed by this. What then of the psychopath that wears the mask of the neurotypical in order to avoid the stigma conferred by society? It would make sense that these psychopaths if found out could face their own backlash and gnashing of teeth.
I detailed the effects on my mood related to transitioning in my previous post. Estrogen brought unwelcome swings to my psyche, but it also brought a valuable, but intangible, benefit as well. Having lived with an outward presentation from either dominant gender, I’ve gained invaluable insight as to what it means to pass as “normal”. This knowledge would be instrumental in determining how to proceed once I received my fateful assessment of psychopathy a few years later.
You see, people are very naive. I learned very quickly – early in transition – that people often see what they want to see unless there is undeniable evidence to the contrary. I may have shoulders broader than that of a typical female and a voice marred by years of smoking, but my outward feminine appearance was more than enough to convince most that I was cisgendered. The ignored all of the signs that could reveal contradiction. I quickly picked up on their ignorance and continue, to this day, to use it to my advantage.
I have been taking estrogen for over six years now. I often wonder if I made the best decision with acting on instinct, but seeing the world from the eyes of both dominant genders has given me insight into the nature of masking that I would have not had without such a journey.
I’ve also had insight from HRT regarding the interaction of biology and personality. Whether I like it or not, sex hormones have affected my thinking at times, be it from the increased aggression that came with testosterone or the illogical mood swings brought on by my first experiences with estrogen. Neither hormone brought empathy or compassion, however.
Life need not be a fair game. Playing on the emotions or beliefs of others in order to further your own goals should be on the table. It simply makes sense. If you do not rise up and take what should be yours – by any means necessary – then someone else will. I do not necessarily view this as antisocial, but rather as intelligent.
The previous post dealt with what purpose there is for ASPD and/or sociopathic – gods, I need to find an all-encompassing term – individuals. My discussions with other antisocials – maybe this could be the term? – suggested that many of us are simply trying to stave off boredom and that our purpose could be as simple as fighting that damnable state. I argued that, no matter what purpose we define for ourselves, we antisocials have an advantage in seeing such purpose realized as we do not concern ourselves with taking a fair share of the “resources” that exist all around us. No, it goes further than that. Not only do we not require a fair share, we are masters of subterfuge when it comes to obtaining a more than fair share; we do not need to play nice with our gluttonous wants.
Moral systems are in constant change. What was accepted years ago is no longer accepted and what is accepted today may not be tomorrow. In the present, however, the systems are nearly unquestionable. The thought of a blind deference to that which is in vogue scares me shitless regarding my ASPD and sociopathic condition.
There is little discourse regarding morality and whether morality should be legislated. Each side holds their beliefs close to their breast and resorts to slandering the other over disagreements. In America, both major political parties legislate morality – simply choosing different viewpoints as to that which is considered ‘moral’. Individuals, political or not, do the same – holding their own view points as scared and others’ as anathema. Discourse dies, hemorrhaging from the screaming.