Few people are objectively and completely oblivious or stupid. There is only so much another can take before they realize that they are being manipulated, used, or lied to. Subtlety means everything, especially for the psychopath and her interactions with others. Going “over the top” will certainly ensure that the psychopath becomes a social pariah. The trick is determining where the boundary between clever unscrupulousness and flamboyance lies. There is a lethal dose of such behavior for any relationship in life.
I’ve been told that no interpersonal relationship I will ever enter will be a “healthy” or “normal” relationship for both parties involved. I agree with this to an extent, given the caveat that the relationship involved a neurotypical. I am not concerned about the well-being of my friends or paramours. If I am, it is because I want to make sure they have just enough of their needs met so that they stick around. I respect few. I care for even less. I’ve let many friendships and relationships die because I simply do not want to waste my time or energy on meeting their wants and needs when mine are much more important. Sometimes I simply disappear and other times I let them die from starvation. Can you kill that which requires no light, though?
No new material today. This musing first appeared on my tumblr account.
By ignoring the moral value of another’s actions I am free to reevaluate their worth on a continuous basis. I am free of such emotional or moral memory.
What this means is that because I could care less about morality in general, not to say that I do not know moral from immoral, that I evaluate people in the present. I could care less if you were at church every Sunday and saved orphans from a fire years ago. I could care less if you robbed a bank and stabbed a guy a few weeks ago. I evaluate you in the present.
I’m no idiot, however. I can gauge whether you are useful to me or not in the present. If I sense that you are about to get your stab on, I’m not going to stick around. What I am saying, however, is that your past actions do not cause me to inherently fear or elevate you in any way. I’m essentially performing a calculation, at all times, of whether you benefit me. I am impartial to your history.
This means that I can be the friend when others won’t because I could care less of your immoral past. It also means I won’t be swindled by the actual thief whose aura of morality, because they saved those orphans, has eclipsed their actual being and true proclivities. I watch, I learn. I learn, I react. I react, I win. At all times, the aura or shadow of the resource means nothing. This can benefit both of us
I remember trying to digest my diagnosis with my best friend at the time, years ago. He was a trusted confidant and I knew that I would be able to talk to him about virtually anything. We had met one evening after a social function and he had been captivated by my charisma and confidence. Over the years we grew closer and soon were traveling the country, visiting various places, and were doing all those ‘best friend’ activities that two are supposed to do when they are close. It did not matter that he was a cisgender male and I myself was transgender. It did not matter that he was close to God and I was the traditional iconoclast. We were close and we trusted each other with our dearest secrets and dreams, hopes and fears. I remember that night when I was talking with him at a local pub, explaining how everything was finally starting to make sense. I was trying to explain the reasons why sometimes we could be at each other’s throats and why I could not feel the joy he felt at times. He could not focus; he had his own life-altering concerns in front of him due to several events that had happened I tried, unsuccessfully to steer the conversation back to my needs, but he was too engrossed in his own worries. Finally, I looked him the eye and told him we were done as friends; I could not stand to listen to his warbling when my matters were of more concern to me. We have not spoken since. [Read more…]