I am fearful of death but enamored with it at the same time. My lust towards my own eventual demise is heightened, of course, during the throes of Bipolar depression, but I find that I am constantly dipping my toes into the grave just to get a taste of the nonexistence that will eventually be mine. I do not wish to grow old; I have enough problems accepting the toll that hard living and time have on me as it is. Every aggravation of a past back injury, every cough brought on by years of cigarette smoking, and every hair that turns gray are reminders that my best years are behind me. Who would want to see themselves decay? Why do we champion longevity at all costs? I don’t want it.
I’m always taking suggestions for topics from readers. ~450 posts in, I find that I have to repeat myself a bit in the absence of new input. That said, I am very grateful for the following question that came in from a tumblr follower:
Oh, and people seem to have difficulties with imaging that there are masochistic psychopaths. Obviously everyone knows that a lot of us tend to take pleasure from causing others emotional or physical pain, but if a psychopath likes to experience the latter themselves it’s often seen as ‘even weirder’. I’m curious about your take on an explanation for that reaction.
I have written that I am unconvinced that sadism is a core feature of psychopathy. Whether one inflicts pain for pleasure or receives pain for pleasure – or both – I am convinced is outside the scope of psychopathy. That is, I believe that psychopathy and sadomasochism are mostly independent of one another. That said, society has painted their own picture of what psychopathy is in their collective mind. They have come to believe that psychopaths must be sadistic, chaotic, and violent. We have seen time and time again that simply is not required to be the case.