My therapist and I had a lengthy discussion about morality this evening. I’ve been struggling the past few days with knowing where I lie on such a spectrum ranging from ‘pure good’ to ‘pure evil’ after confessing some particularly damning thoughts to her. I’m an ardent intellectual and the knowledge that I could not separate the expectations of society and other pressures from my own internal view of self – which is weak, of course – bothered me quite heavily. Did I care where I lay on the spectrum? Did I not care? Was it better to know or not know? etc. etc.
The recent controversy surrounding Caitlyn Jenner, the affluent transwoman, and Rachel Dolezal, the NAACP official who is Caucasian but identifies as black, has brought an unholy storm upon social media. Those that are easily disgusted find that they are appalled at the seeming blurring of the lines of groups held sacred. The truth is, most neurotypicals are queasy about “out-group” members invading spaces that “do not belong to them.” Whether it is the transman transitioning from female to male or the black individual having a skin condition that makes them gradually look Caucasian, people are easily disturbed by this. What then of the psychopath that wears the mask of the neurotypical in order to avoid the stigma conferred by society? It would make sense that these psychopaths if found out could face their own backlash and gnashing of teeth.
I’ve written several times on the nature of conscience and its absence in the psychopathic mind. While not a diagnostic criterion for confirming psychopathy, a lack of conscience is common in those whom are psychopathic. Whereas the neurotypical will feel some visceral and gut feeling regarding an ethical dilemma, the psychopath tends not to. This is certainly advantageous for the psychopath as she need not stand still while others are paralyzed by the command to satisfy their conscience. However, a lack of conscience should not imply automatic and consistent antisocial behavior. The reason for this is simple: the “good” choice need not be without reward.
I wrote recently about how many faux psychopaths seek to erase their uniqueness in order to blend in with the antisocial crowd. While such a thought process is ultimately flawed, it does play to neurotypical biases. Antisocials recognize the uniqueness of each individual who is psychopathic or otherwise antisocial while the neurotypical seeks to paint us as replicas of a master prototype. They do not want to admit that the psychopath can just as easily attempt to walk a prosocial path as they can a dark and disturbed one. It ruins the narrative to find out that some psychopaths are not abusers, not murderers, not delusional, so on and so forth. In the neurotypical’s echo chamber, these voices add up and paint us all as one.
A tumblr follower sent me this note:
There is a strange but empowering freedom to knowing that almost every single person you have ever met, and almost every single person you will ever meet, would fear and despise you and wish for your death if they actually knew the truth about you. You can draw strength from it, set yourself above others.
And the same follower (I presume) sent me this follow up note:
It’s worth noting that, according to the (admittedly rather dubious and hypocritical) standards of society, you and others like you already *are* the bad guys, whether or not you’ve actually done anything bad.
They make a good point, though I do not wish to look too deeply into the exact wording that they use. Many in times of strife use their plight as a means to reach farther and dig deeper for the energy required to make their situation better. I don’t believe the psychopath loses sleep over her position in society, however. Her narcissism already has her believing that she is above others, however the status of being the bad guy can lead to an even more potent ego-boost. When you are better than everyone and feared, what more is there to attain?