I feel like I can now write on a more regular basis, like I once did. A break for most of the past two years was definitely in order, as I had burned myself out and tried some other life experiments to try and find some footing, but now it is time to focus on the one thing that goes beyond me – my writing. Do not misunderstand, I am still the same egocentric individual that I always have been, but there is a symbiotic relationship between my boredom and my ability to communicate with others. If you are new to this blog, welcome, and if you are a veteran of my writings, thank you. It feels good to be back.
We live in a world of implicit censorship. Wrongthink is ridiculed at best and persecuted at worst. Movements like #MeToo seek to criminalize and ostracize many, when in some cases, no wrong has been done. Demographics are silenced because they are not in the in-groups of the power-elite. Nowhere is this more evident than with matters of psychology. Neurotypicals (both in the “non-antisocial” and “normal” sense) are afraid of the neurodivergent, and thus seek to silence what they fear, so that the horrors they face become without voice. By removing the fangs of the perceived enemy, there is nothing left but the will of those in power. This should be considered unacceptable, but often it is only the marginalized that truly understand the power play involved.
The vanity of misery is not enticing and is not wanted by those caught in the maelstrom. We live in a connected age in which every dream and desire of an individual is reflected for the world to see on digital media. People with little self-confidence (or, a perverse surplus of narcissism) flood our streams with selfies and with poorly thought out monologues that do little to stimulate our intellects. Weeding out signal from noise becomes ever-increasingly more difficult as the self-imposed prisons of the noise-bearers coalesce into view. I believe that we are becoming more simplistic as a species with all of this ill-conceived content. We need to care not for the simplistic and shallow that fill our televisions, social media streams, and conversations and care more for those directly in our lives: those in front of us.
Do not misunderstand me. I am no one’s advocate except my own. I care not for the masses foolish enough to be manhandled by the antisocial and psychopathic demons around them. Nor do I care for those in which I see my own reflection. What I do is for myself. My ego may not be fragile enough nor hungry enough to require me to show my talents for all too see, but my will demands that I be in control. To be in control demands that I control the discourse to the best of my ability. To be in control dictates that I become both entertainer and educator. And, this I do gladly even if I feel little reward in return. Do you want to know the depths of darkness? Do you wish to become acquainted with the self-destruction and fury of the psychopath? Longtime readers would know that you’ve come to the right place. Moving forward, I will revisit topics that dominated the first two years of this blog though with insights that are more current. I am not cured and I never will be. What I am, however, is more aware than ever before.
I’ll be done with this arc soon enough, and I ask you, my valued reader, to bear with me while I flesh out this confusing time. Longtime readers will note that I have not been writing much lately. This is partially due to the fact that I have written so many angles on the subjects of ASPD and psychopathy that it becomes harder with each post to find new material that is insightful and engaging for new and old reader alike. More than this, however, I have found disdain for my communication circles that revolve around antisocials and narcissists. I grow tired of listening to stories of caricature, knowing all too well that I once was cartoonish with my antics as well. There is only so much benefit, of which diminishing returns had more than arrived, in communicating with the damned. I am tired of standing up for those that will not embrace their individuality. I may be mostly unconcerned with issues of morality, but I am an ardent believer in the fact that individuals are ultimately responsible for their own fate. Combine this with the fact that I have often been taken advantage of given my willingness to be a resource, and the discourse became less and less important to me. Where do I go from here? I do not yet know.