There is a price to pay for the energies of hypomania. Eventually the pendulum swings the other direction and soul-crushing depression is had. Trying to describe the depression is difficult. It is as if any passion for life is drained and everything seems hopeless. It is not logical, but is very real. When I am depressed, I am at my most dangerous. I am a proverbial two-year old, not knowing why I am distressed, but knowing that something is not right. And, like a small child, I lash out, throwing tantrums, until someone can make the pain go away. All I ever want in life is to be in control; I am not in control when I am depressed and I never know how to regain control as the depression is an uninvited beast that leaves only when it is full.