I detailed the effects on my mood related to transitioning in my previous post. Estrogen brought unwelcome swings to my psyche, but it also brought a valuable, but intangible, benefit as well. Having lived with an outward presentation from either dominant gender, I’ve gained invaluable insight as to what it means to pass as “normal”. This knowledge would be instrumental in determining how to proceed once I received my fateful assessment of psychopathy a few years later.
You see, people are very naive. I learned very quickly – early in transition – that people often see what they want to see unless there is undeniable evidence to the contrary. I may have shoulders broader than that of a typical female and a voice marred by years of smoking, but my outward feminine appearance was more than enough to convince most that I was cisgendered. The ignored all of the signs that could reveal contradiction. I quickly picked up on their ignorance and continue, to this day, to use it to my advantage.