There are a seemingly infinite number of websites for those seeking to recover from abusive relationships. Of these, a non-trivial number focus on relationships in which the “survivor” swears that their ex must have been a “psychopath.” This is asinine for two reasons: by sheer probability, the odds that such an abusive relationship was with an actual psychopath is small, and it creates paranoia for those that should know better.
Are psychopaths toxic? This is a question that I get somewhat frequently. Others want to believe that the psychopath is irredeemable; that we are pariahs that deserve no human contact. The answer that I give is that it depends. Are we talking about the unsuccessful psychopaths that line our prison walls or our more adapted kin that have learned to succeed in life, warts and all? Ultimately the onus of any interpersonal relationship with a psychopath must reside with the neurotypical. We don’t blame the stove if someone touches it while it is hot, now do we?
Yes, I’ve been bad (again) on updating daily.
Interpersonal relationships (professional, romantic, platonic, or otherwise) seem doomed for the psychopath. Either we get bored and let the relationship die, or our irritability will eventually cause the relationship to go nuclear. It seems inevitable that just as life itself dies, so will any relationship we engage in. Lord knows, I have left more acquaintances in the dust than I’ve kept by my side.
I wrote about the abuse and neglect that I suffered at the hands of my parents. It is interesting; I never really considered my experiences to be eventful or harmful and, in many ways, I still do not. I guess I knew no other way, but I also suspect that my wiring leaves me relatively unconcerned with the damage that was dealt. It seemed mundane to be beaten for misadventures in toilet training or for any number of other minor transgressions against my father. Likewise, being left utterly to myself for extended periods of time was not necessarily unwelcome, but I have been told that such is not considered prime parenting skills. I have a disconnect between my feeling state toward my childhood and the objective view that others have toward it.
I had forgotten all about this New Yorker article, originally brought to my attention by reading a summary by M.E. Thomas, until Christmas day. Empathy is one of the crudest components of the neurotypical and it can easily be used against them.
On Christmas day, as I lay on the couch trying to sleep, I was subjected to a torrential downpour of television commercials. There were the usual commercials for the latest and greatest toys and electronics, adverts for the latest albums, and a metric ton of ads for charities.