I loathe writing posts on the maturation and mindfulness that I’ve acquired in recent years. The reason for this is that I do not want the reader to frame these posts under the romanticized light of redemption. When I think of redemption, I think of love stories where someone cleans up their act in order to be welcomed back with open arms by a paramour. Or, I think about the mythical hero of the day, throwing away their background and the odds in order to heroically save those around him. These are tired tropes. I would propose that the antisocial is beyond redemption but not necessarily for the reasons you may think.
Redemption should be thought of as a verb and not a noun. I say this as to redeem oneself, there has to be buy-in from oneself. The gratitude and amazement of others of a radical change in someone else is not sufficient for that person to be redeemed. Redemption requires that the individual take ownership of, and pure concern in, the reformation of oneself. The antisocial may be able to take ownership of their ways, but by the very definition of the disorder – a disorder rooted in the lack of concern for the “rights” of oneself and those around them – it is not possible for the antisocial to take legitimate concern in that reformative process. This should immediately be tantamount to romanticide – the crashing down of erroneous weight put into the process of redemption.
So when I write of those processes that went into my maturation and restraint in my current place and time, do not misunderstand; I do not share your concern for my transformation. My concern lies in fixing broken processes of old, not in honoring new processes for the sake of others. Embrace romanticide; your heroes are not necessarily heroes after all.