There is a fine line between reality and caricature. If we think of reality as being the pivot point of a disorder and caricature as lying too far on either pole away from that pivot, then the picture should be clear. To lie to the left is to be cured; to lie to the right is to be lost forever in chaos. While I suspect there is some sort of Gaussian distribution to disorder, there must be some minimum criteria for disorder, and there must be a point where the individual crosses the borderlands from humanity into wanton destructionist. I’m skeptical of self-actualized beings claiming to be at these poles, for either they would be “normal” or not long for a free life in this realm of existence. And if I, a self-actualized but disordered individual, am dubious of the poles of disorder, then you should be as well.
I visited those parts of tumblr that I once called home and it seems that every individual claiming to be disordered in an antisocial fashion is either partaking in an embarrassing hug-orgy or is playing up their symptoms as if they transcend human existence. My views of the latter have not changed much over the years: I believe that the call of caricature is one to be ignored, and those that succumb to caricature are either trying too hard for all of the wrong reasons, or are legitimately beyond hope in terms of socializing or otherwise participating in society. As such, we won’t spend much time discussing these individuals here, other than keeping in mind that their toxicity – regardless of etiology – should be avoided at all costs.
What about those that claimed to be cured of disorder – particularly of an antisocial fashion? I believe this must be examined under the utmost of scrutiny. While I am not fond of the saying that “personality disorders are for life,” I also do believe that the neuroplasticity of the individual has its limits. If one is truly disordered, then there were intrapersonal or interpersonal difficulties encountered that caused significant distress to someone or some people. These difficulties can be mitigated, but are never truly eradicated, just as the champion alcoholic may experience thirst long after they’ve consumed their “last” alcoholic drink. So, at the very least, the intrapersonal factor will remain even if the interpersonal struggles have subsided.
To participate in the hug-orgy as I called it, is to betray both the self and others. The individual is robbed – assuming they were ever disordered to begin with – of that which makes them tick and others, specifically neurotypicals watching from the outside, are lulled into a false sense of security, possibly believing that love conquers all and everyone is soft underneath the surface – that disorder is “skin deep.” The former is embarrassing, the latter is enticing for the rest of us that wish to slip through undetected, knowing that if we are found out, there is some chance that someone will let their guard down, whether or not we have given decidedly concrete evidence that we are worthy of our trust.
I’d like to think that I am of a mold that is deserving of others’ trust. Gods know that I have worked tirelessly to achieve such a stature, but I concede that the intrapersonal struggle will always be there, and the interpersonal distress I can cause will pop up again in some interpersonal relationship sometime before my last breath. That realization separates me from the chaff and the caricatures. I have no want for the hug-orgies of those that run away from their true selves, or worse, of those that are trying to fit in with the wrong crowd for all of the wrong reasons. Blades are made from steel, and steel may be repurposed, but even after repurposing, a blade may be formed once more. The true antisocial knows this. The wise outsider knows this. Do not for an instant believe the cuddle pile that claims we can be forever changed, for our potential energy will never be truly zero.