Ghosts

I know that I’m repeating myself, but it has been awhile.  Whatever remnants of my antisocial spectrum disorders continue to fade as I grow older and the line between conscious and subconscious restraint blurs.

I’ve been thinking about the nature of my failed interpersonal relationships.  I tend to go nuclear, causing a certain finality to occur, rather than ghosting.  I suppose that it would be healthier to simply vanish rather than viciously ending those interpersonal relationships that I find irritating or otherwise unfulfilling, but no matter how many times I remind myself of this fact, I still detonate.  I don’t have any answer for this self-inflicted problem.  I know that many under the antisocial spectrum – especially those with comorbid Borderline Personality Disorder – act as I do.

For those of you that are more graceful with severing interpersonal relationships, please share your techniques in doing so if you once acted as I did, or if your natural proclivity is to explode as I do.

I will probably not be updating regularly, but it may be possible to write briefer, more frequent posts, since I have said nearly everything there is to say regarding the antisocial condition.  I don’t wish to waste my time nor my readers’ time.  If you are curious about those projects that I still engage in, in other areas, please feel free to reach out to me.  I wear many hats and this blog is merely one outlet for my creativity and drive.  However, I am not going to muddy the waters; this blog is for my writing, not my other endeavors.  At thirty-one years of age, I am hopeful that my antisocial ghosts will only haunt me in mind and not in action.  In as much, I myself have become a ghost as well, merely haunting my old arenas and letting the words of the past remain steadfast in their aegis.

Rust
...And Her Mouth was Sewn Shut

Comments

  1. james says

    What’s wrong with running life the way you want? What kind of therapy is this you are getting. If you are not committing crimes, then younare not a criminal. If other people can not deal with you because you are doing certain things, tye logical thing to do is to change more things.
    Absent of any sentimental delusions, it is only necessary to analyze a situation that went wrong, look at all the data available, decide what outcome was needed, if its appropriate and matches the result you would want, and only after you have worked everything out, do you then act.
    I think this antisocial thing is only because the person did not think something through.
    You don’t owe your own spiritual existence to anyone but yourself. Somebody must be sardonically laughing in glee at how much they are tearing down your self esteem.

    Not a good way to live.

    Everybody is allowed your own self confidence. For those who have support of the social system, you don’t need much. For those who don’t rely on the social system, you need ridiculous amount of self confidence, even bothering on arrogance sometimes.
    The interplay of those who use the social system, to gain an advantage over another, to gain a standing in life, or for the infinte reasons, can have a situation where you have a person who sees that nonsense for exactly what it is. Emotional “connection”.
    Labelling those who dont follow this route as mentally ill is quakery. The model of living is not emotional slavery to others. It is destroying other’s lives either.
    The justice system no longer does its job of removing criminals. There are too many protected special groups afforded privilege within society. Obviously, there are some in that society denied any rights. The individual set up to be branded and denied rights, is called a psychopath.
    There are too many classifications of people today. Too many groups of people. We have lost all pretense to being objective.
    Just like “normal people” have a right to feel theor emotions, so it is that psychopaths have a right not to care about yours and theirs.
    The dishonesty with which most of human being conduct our lives is the greatest danger facing humanity today.

  2. james says

    Avoid entangling alliances. They do nothing but trap you into courses of action in which you will not achieve any goals. If you find nothing that would help you in an activity, there is no point in doing it. Even finding out about how something works is a worthy undertaking.

    It’s just annoying that we pretend we have rights, but go on to set up protected groups upon whom privileges are granted, and on others, whom rights are denied. It’s also aggravating when one does not realize that the way to your own happiness might be to realize that they are social constructs and are artificial. Short of doing destructive and criminal activities, you really do have latitude to do whatever you want.

    I see people being unfair with another and have seen it through out my own life. Many are downright cruel to others. How do they live with that?

    I read a bit of history. It cured any idea I had about trying to be a good guy. Every single civilization has been brought to a point of near collapse by idiots and criminals, and people who did nothing. In each case it took One person, slogging hard to bring it back up and build it. One person on a mission turned around Rome, China, Japan, Zulu, Greece. Pick any area on earth, you find the same thing.

    It is how things work. If you feel strongly about something, maybe there is a reason for it. It could be because you are right. If you are capable enough, friends need you. You will not lack for friends. They will align their efforts with yours and build something you can enjoy. When you are not capable, you only have your own thoughts for solace.

    You could almost say, that the biggest crime people commit today, is not to think big enough.

    The worst thing you can do for yourself, is to worry about other people. It does nothing for you.

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