Dissonance

I rarely have any actual investment in the topics I discuss.  Good things happen to bad people at times, and at other times bad things happen to good people.  If I’m not the person being affected, or those in my life are not being affected, then I simply cannot care.  What ultimately interests me are those processes under which the majorities of the world operate.  These can be political majorities, socioeconomic majorities, or even majorities with respect to mental illness.  I want to know how they function and what makes them tick.  Often these groups can only remain cohesive through an act of mass dissonance.  That is, the individual succumbs to the majority by separating their emotional states from their intellectual states.  Further, the emotional state is given more credit than the intellectual state to alleviate the existential crisis that would arise from a state free of dissonance.  Humanity needs to be less afraid of dissonance and must own it in order to make educated and reasoned choices to the problems man is confronted with.  Embrace your pain.

As a concrete example, consider abortion.  In an age in which the overwhelming majority of conceptions can come to term (in first-world countries, anyway), liberal society has mostly dictated that a woman be allowed to end her pregnancy so she desire.  The philosophical question is obvious – as the odds of a conception reaching term closes in on 100%, at what point do we equate (or not) actuality (viability) with potential?  Morally, is there a difference between killing a child that could live on its own outside the womb versus killing a non-viable child that would undoubtedly survive given enough time?  Note how the act, in this age where potential approaches certainty, is referred to as abortion and not unborn murder by the liberal mass.  The reason is simple.  The term ‘abortion” dehumanizes what would certainly become a human, whereas ‘unborn murder’ dehumanizes the adult.  This is exactly the same tactic that is used when justifying cruel actions against any demographic.  By reducing the victim to a state of inhumanity, it is easier to mask the existential dissonance of the actual act.  This is by design.  (Note, that I am personally okay with abortion, but I do not mask the reality that it brings)

Countless other examples abound, and I leave deeper introspection to the reader.  My point is that we need to be aware of the tricks most humans play in order to mitigate the very real and painful dissonance that arises when want precludes morality.  The empathetic individual of course is selective with their empathy, but I suspect this is more of a defense mechanism than anything.  How would the truly empathetic survive in a world where their actions constantly and negatively affect their emotional state?  Most would be reduced to blithering idiots.  Rather than making excuses or resorting to dehumanization, such pain must be embraced.  Own your dissonance.

Compassion - A Verb, not a Noun
The Waterhole

Comments

  1. Andrew says

    Abortion came to my mind when I read your “Zeitgeist of the Heart” where you said you can’t have it both ways – either prison serves to rehabilitate or it serves to punish. How can we say that it’s not okay to murder but then conveniently call it something else and say it’s okay when it comes to an unborn child? What about when we implement the death penalty? Is it not still murder? What about when we kill in wars – defending our country? Then we give out medals of honor. Lot’s of dissonance and euphemisms here.

    Interestingly, your mention of the majority was something that James Fallon also talked about in his book. He said that he’s pro-social but in a macro kind of way – that he would sacrifice the individual for the good of the majority. Maybe, when psychopaths are pro-social, it’s in a macro sort of way. This would support my theory that psychopathic genes have evolved from areas of violence where people have had to fight each other to survive. Evolution exists to ensure that the species (the majority) survives.

    • Rrose says

      Eh. I honestly believe murder is sometimes morally justifiable. I say that sincerely not taking it lightly and should only be executed when truly necessary.

      To the point on abortion. It’s a decision one should decide privately in a safe environment without societal stigma or fear of judgment. society conditions us to expect rejection if stepping out of line and making a scene. So intuition is ignored and group thinking is in affect so it isn’t that we can’t discuss the taboo but most fear to. I’ve never been in that place to have to choose, nowhere I hope to ever have to go but the last thing I want to do is impose or do anything to influence someone’s choice when have to decide that. i’ll wrap up back to this but sorry to go off topic but um ya i’d probably still say this rant and ill come back to this but…

      I feel the need to rant because the religious have made choosing an abortion so damn evil without any constructive attempt at insight or thought investment of what life will be like in the alternative choice. Many uncertainties but religion is certain that allowing every life to exist even if its only in hell is absolutely more morally correct. it’s ok to suffer but never allowing a potential life to exist or suffer because life would never much quality? that’s the selfish act in religion….um..

      I am an atheist so I fiercely reject and despise to my core that “biblical morality” can get away unchallenged craziness in 2016 as societal norms.

      Fear of an 1000 year old book (most didn’t even ever read lol) can still exist as rationally responding because to believe empty threats of being rejected now, as a sinner and giving everything to “god” is right. This is rejection from society so i don’t get further rejected in eternity….. that’s weird.

      being rejected when reaching out can literally break anyone. I fucking get enraged society will proudly humor the delusional thinking of religion and equally judge atheists beliefs as immoral, evil, brainwashed or deprived of “god’s love” or what ever the hell else they do to ignore reason..

      rather than defend their religion against facts, dissonance happens immediately if the religious feel the slightest confrontation against their world views even just reasonable questioning.

      despite easily being disproven with indisputable physical evidence, the person who challenges their delusions is now non-tolerant, the behavior is “discriminating” and unacceptable. Some how the religious outnumber any alternative views and it isolates to control morality.

      *trigger warning to those who avoid this*

      this is reality check to those talking to nothing actually waiting in expectation for a magic man to spontaneously appear. when will god finally get around to materializing to validate your faith? what in the literal mindfuck makes that shit socially acceptable or norm? How is entrusting everything in literally nothing at all to eventually/ possibly/ maybe if your really loyal then you might get proof ( for sure in death though… right?) damn lol can that guy at least throw humanity something… Even Voldemort made an appearance by the 5th year damn lol.
      considering its 1000 years of NEVER VALIDATING humanity seriously wish they’d give up.

      most people aren’t so dramatic but I hate bullshit perceptions on morality from someone who is still finding it from religion. Do those people (god) get to be in charge of the ultimate authority on morality in a society I am in too? Ya i don’t put much faith in societies expectations but for women there is no clear right moral decision in this. I shared the first thing I need to do to ensure that the fuck you to those whom most likely will judge from a moral high ground didn’t even try it.

      I personally would do anything to justify my choice but it is just mine. I think any stage abortion is not a choice I care to ever have to make and wouldn’t wish on someone. I don’t feel most people have to be told not to kill the viable just because you don’t want it. I think if they did ultimately it is their body who am I(or anyone) to tell them what they can do with it? I like to assume the best in people so my thoughts aren’t flooded with other’s pain and I personally would only end it if they were viable if that kid would suffer extreme incurable physical disability, pain or mental retardation. I couldn’t deal with that level of selflessness so i’d tell myself whatever justifications to make it so I could look in the mirror some day.

      to before unviable i’d say if I chose to it would be because I can’t do it alone again but It’s more merciful to end a fetus when they are certainly in store for painfully deprived life. when you know it will be an unwanted child, who will never get what all children deserve because your imaginary friend is that is fucked. I think it’s pretty fucking selfish for a person to put their “eternal soul” and bullshit empty promises of eternity at their expense. Most people waist their life fearing a what if in afterlife. I will pull what I have from my emotional resources to justify what the means are when i’m decided on an uncomfortable end. My loved ones will validate my choice so im not alone with the emotional burden of pain and life will return to a level of normality.

      but you know it’s devastating because most people are stuck in the rat race and will never realize or stop to think that this moment right now is literally it. “Your reality is equivalent to a grain of sand in all of time” I get to dictate what my life will be about and what is important. There is no universal truth, understanding or purpose to life. This me gets to be. thousands of years of dumb genetic luck that worked up to this point to me. We the genetic lottery winners, got to actually make it amongst thousands of possible variations. When I need to refocus my time, I compare what I have to the universe’s whole existence. it’s a humble empowerment and I focus so as to not waist my moments. You’re a very enjoyable person Jessica and I don’t understand yet why some would not just enjoy what a person gets. Yes I’m a little careless with trust and some people aren’t worth it but if someone didn’t really just fuck up my head for a brief moment, I wouldn’t of found your blog. So it is always worth it in the end, I have more in me than they have time so no one can ever devour all and I am truly enjoying and inspired to see someone with such unique intelligence put more effort than most even are capable of into what people really are. Your view is truly objective and is level headed with reason so i get a lot from reading it. Valuable reads here yes indeed. I’ve actually started journaling again and i’ve been in a inspirational funk for 2 years. Thank you for blogging because I hate the dullness that life can occasionally be.

      • FNP says

        I’d like to post a big response taking into account every point you make here, but… it’s really really long.

        So here goes the short version:
        1. If murder is “sometimes justifiable”, doesn’t that mean it’s always justifiable, because I’m pretty sure anything can be used as justification to do something?

        2. The biggest reasons most of us pro-lifers are anti-abortion are because abortion rewards poor life choices and because it leads to a society where human life has no value. In the case of anybody that’s antisocial, if society changes to the point where life has no inherent value, then to act against societal norms, we’d have to give it that value. It’s not in us, honestly.

        3. There’s many different religions, and only a couple actually believe that their god/gods/goddess/goddesses/etc. are beings who will visit humanity if only people believe hard enough. For example, in the religion I’m part of, we don’t believe that our gods or goddesses can ever be understood by mortals, and the gods and goddesses aren’t required to love or even care about what happens to humanity. We believe in seeking the strength to stand up for ourselves without having to lean on some being that has no reason to want love from humanity.

        4. All that talk about not wanting babies that grow up in deprived lives or having conditions or stuff of that sort is called eugenics. If you’re a member of the normal political spectrum, eugenics is one of the most evil things that can happen. It’s really only a position supported by those of us on the extreme right.

        5. I can really see how a nihilistic approach like you describe at the end of the comment would fit a reality where if you don’t plan anything, you can just have a redo until you get everything perfect. In this reality though, that’s simply not feasible, and it’s why most psychopaths end up in prison – they have no capacity for planning.

        • Rrose says

          Again. In you’re in public dude. your world view is really simplistic and juvenile. The depth of what I shared was again not intended for you. You can’t even recognize or appreciate abstract thought, you didn’t get anything from my post I didn’t willingly give fully aware that jealous insecure little boys may try to “pull my hair with”. Please stop doing this to yourself. Last warning and then i’ll destroy your FNP mask completely. Your next move will determine how badly the humiliation will be. Don’t fuck with me. -Rose

        • Rrose says

          You know what nope. I’m done with that bullshit and i’m fucking pissed off. Who the fuck are you to come over here and try to take over something you didn’t even create. Your fucking disrespectful demeanor to this space that was created to have free thought flow is unacceptable. I tried to give you a chance but you dude, have no idea what respect is. and you have become toxic in your lazy narcissistic consumption. you are fat and out of shape. Go fucking do some work, make your own blog, and find people to consume that way. You are officially on my shit list and I don’t want to see you here again. bye

          • FNP says

            1. I was posting comments on this blog a year before you started posting them.

            2. How is my speech disrespectful and anti-free speech? All I’ve done is give a counter-argument to yours, and you fly off the handle with rage. Did I hurt your ego or something by posing a worldview you can’t deal with like a normal person?

            3. I mean, if fat and out of shape is what you think I am, go right ahead. But the guys that tried to beat the shit out of me and a few of my politically-inclined friends earlier this week in Sacremento know differently. They outnumbered us more than 10 to 1, and we won the fight.

            4. All of that said, what makes you think that you’re on some high horse here with regards to my narcissism being evil? You do realize you’re commenting on a blog written by a psychopath for psychopaths and other antisocial people, don’t you?

            5. Oh, and have fun “destroying my FNP mask completely”. It’s not actually a mask. It’s just an online moniker chosen because it fits. I mean, I don’t talk about my political views in general here, not because you don’t like them, but because I have other places to do so. Like tumblr. Come fight me there if you’re so intent on destroying my worldview.

          • Rrose says

            FNP. The alter ego. If you insist I be the bad guy I’ll do it. I am just as easily pushed into my psychopathy. Why must it always be interpersonal chaos. Im not going to take you on with multiple forms. You belittled me as FNP. Ya when you decided that I wasn’t going away then you want to bounce ideas off me? I want an apology. I literally “have no idea” who you are

          • FNP says

            Why do you keep going on with this “multiple forms” thing?

            I’ve never had anything other than this one name when commenting on this blog.

            If you can’t handle the idea that I’m just one person interacting with people in a comments section, rather than several people or one person playing several people or whatever you’re on about… perhaps it’s time to rethink your decision to be on the internet.

        • MMS says

          In cases of rubella and cytomegalo virus (known to cause Microcephaly) and Zika Virus which is thought to do so (more tests needed), would your opinion of abortion change given that this is not any form of eugenics, since the virus has intervened and ‘artificially’ caused the defect?

          • FNP says

            I’m completely for eugenics. I’m just not supportive of abortions just to get rid of an oops moment or as some form of buyer’s remorse.

  2. Rrose says

    FNP you piss me off because all you want to do is fight and challenge me. My take of what jessica asked was to take these hypothetical situations and worth through it out loud so I can know how those who feel would work through a major crisis. You had to challenge those thoughts when a more enjoyable activity would be to discuss. You can share too but as an equal not above please. Don’t hold me to a higher moral ground then you’re offering k

  3. Rrose says

    FNP you also don’t know me and when I spoke of mercy for the unwanted child it was me needing my own. I was having a vunerable moment in the unwanted damaged child’s eyes. Yes growing up feeling the pain of abuse and never being wanted alive in the first place… killing me would have been more merciful then the suffering inside. Ya the only reason I was alive was they’re “eternal soul” was worth my eternal suffering. It’s hard to recognize feelings dude but stop being all knowing about those who can feel or morality. It’s easy to draw clear lines without pain.

    • says

      I have no trouble recognizing feelings. Then again, I’m psychopathic, not autistic.

      I also feel feelings. I’m not a robot.

      But, you’re talking about my worldview here, which is largely dictated by my political stance. If you’d like to actually find out about my political views, I recommend you head over to my tumblr at fnp01.tumblr.com.

      Self-promo aside, these views involve a society with standardized morality.

      • MMS says

        “I also feel feelings. I’m not a robot.” Of the numerous misconceptions of psychopathy the belief that a psychopath is some sort of emotionless ‘machine’ with the destruction of everything in its path as its sole goal belongs to the realms of science fiction. To dehumanize anyone in this manner is more harmful to the person doing so than to the target. We already have far too much bias against minority groups of every kind to go searching for more candidates. (Just my view- for what it’s worth)

        • Andrew says

          I agree. Everywhere online the word “psychopath” is accompanied by a horrible picture or of Hannibal Lecter or Ted Bundy. We’re never going to evolve in a positive direction as a species as long as we dehumanize groups of people. Psychopathy is a spectrum like everything else and the internet offers us an opportunity for dialog and learning. That’s why I’m interacting on this blog.

          • Andrew says

            This comment from MMS came to me today as a new comment but when I looked back, it was there before. Yes we must always be cautious Jessica – very cautious – you are very right about that.

  4. Andrew says

    Rrose – I never felt that FNP was trying to attack you but you are very insightful that where pain is involved it can ignite anger. I’m sorry for any pain you have gone through and I’m glad you wrote back and explained where that was coming from.

    • MMS says

      Andrew: This is a constructive comment. Whenever I feel an impulse (quite a problem for me) to ‘anger comment’ I stop to see if you comment. Thank you for the unintended help in setting an example of the kind of thinking I aspire to.

  5. Andrew says

    Thank you so much. I held off because I didn’t want to interfere but once Rrose explained themself it helped me to understand. Anytime we have the courage to step back and see ourselves clearly like that and the even greater courage to share it with others – I just think that takes a lot. I greatly respect that and just wanted to take the time to say so.

        • Rrose says

          Andrew check out FNP’s comments on the blog “can a psychopath be manipulated?” my first interaction with him was full of condescension and belittling me, then later talking about how they like to imagine me or others in pools of blood and other childish things to intimidate me. So for him to come over here and pretend to interact with me, wasn’t a free exchange of thoughts, rather their own ego trying on a new mask to fool me was annoying. Then the denial it happened because most readers can’t follow along between all comments on multiple blog entry’s, is an attempt at gas lighting me. FNP knew other readers wouldn’t see so it’s easy to not be able to be held accountable to 3rd party readers.

          • Rrose says

            Thank you for acknowledging my feelings and your compassion. My behavior came off as explosive but FNP contributes no original thoughts from what I have seen. He will comment and challenge everyone elses, but not post unless it is to tell others how theirs is wrong. this has been my experience with him. So I wanted to explain why this minor instance came off so explosive.

          • says

            Hint: I still haven’t gaslighted you or lied to you about anything in these comments.

            In fact, all I’ve done is offer a viewpoint that isn’t the same as yours (or, for that matter, the same as most people’s views in this echo chamber).

          • Andrew says

            I hope you all can patch things up if possible. If not, maybe just agree not to reply to each other’s posts.

          • Rrose says

            To that I’d say beneficii, what purpose has this blog had otherwise? This blog is an attempt to offer a window into the thought process and attempts of a psychopath to better relate to their fellow human. I think it is perfectly appropriate given Jessica’s work to unveil a psychopath’s mind, for me to call out a common manipulation tool used when it is presented. Do you disagree?

          • says

            Really, the better question is asking where I actually tried to gaslight Rrose at all, because I haven’t yet been able to find it.

  6. Rrose says

    OK challenge accepted.

    Gaslighting or gas-lighting is a form of mental abuse in which a victim is manipulated into doubting their own memory, perception, and sanity.[1][2] Instances may range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.

    Comments with exact quotes to indicate direct attempts to deny past events and question my own preception or sanity.

    Comments from blog “Can a Pychopath be manipulated”

    Rrose says June 11, 2016 at 10:43 am

    “I must also say that I wonder if perhaps I am the psycho. Maybe he isn’t a master manipulator and I’ve given him too much credit. He played the whole time until I spun my sophisticated web back at him. Now it’s radio silence and either he is scared out of his mind because he is disturbed but not a true psychopath or he I’d and knows my mind better thought and is letting his threats fester. Or im completely delusional haha. That’s the fun part, the thrill of not knowing.” (speaking about a past relationship not FNP)

    FNP says June 11, 2016 at 1:48 pm

    The fun part is making people like you believe that you’re crazy or insane or psychotic or whatever. The fact that you honestly think that I will actually care about you is hilarious to me, since I don’t ever expect sadistic psychopaths to care about me like you seem to.

    To you, a normal response is to support you in this.

    To me, a normal response is to imagine you in an ever-growing pool of blood (not necessarily yours, I just like blood). Or skinned alive. Or as a corpse that I’m busy having a field day with.

    You don’t really seem to understand what the situation is here.

    FNP says June 22, 2016 at 7:56 am

    “Do normal people envision slicing you open just to see how you bleed? I’ve been thinking of that whenever you post a stupid comment.”

    Rrose says June 22, 2016 at 8:33 am

    “Do you think those who willingly play with fire bare handed are fazed by your violent fantacies? They are trying to fuck with me not you dude and you gave them a rise.
    *fail*”

    FNP says June 23, 2016 at 2:41 am

    You’re willing to play with fire bare-handed, okay. I prefer to not use fire. It cauterizes things too quickly.

    Jessica on the blog post “are psychopaths toxic: “We don’t blame the stove if someone touches it while it is hot, now do we?”

    Rrose says

    June 29, 2016 at 9:47 pm

    “If you know a stove gets hot and will stay hot, but still carelessly play in the kitchen without a purpose then a good burn will teach you to watch where you are going and always assume it’s hot. you shouldn’t need to be told to always put your hand over and check if it’s on. but If you’re pissed u were careless and got burned… that sucks, you’ll know for next time but why are you even standing next to the stove in the first place? what do you need, otherwise get out of the kitchen it’s closed until dinner anyways lol. I feel like my mother but go play outside till dinner is served.”

    This idea only works for people who care about their own well-being. Psychopaths, myself included, have a tendency to poke the stove when we’re bored, or not watch where the knife is going while making a sandwich, or any other thing along this line.

    Example: I make soup nearly every day for lunch. The pot handle is always hot, yet most times, I forget to grab the potholder. It’s not because of my memory, it’s just because I don’t really attach any emotional significance to my own pain (had to specify, seeing as I’m quite sadistic…).

    Rrose says

    June 30, 2016 at 7:02 am

    ok thanks for that I guess, now why do you keep trying to engage by talking at not to me? You keep coming at me with a different mask and I really don’t care and wasn’t talking to you anyways. I am solid and much smarter than you. Out of respect for Jessica’s house, i’ve let your ego down easy. You have mistaken restraint for weakness and your attempts to intimidate, manipulate, deceive, and devour me have pushed my patience. I’m really not interested in what you’re trying to sell so ya. Stay out of my way or recognize your place. Drop the presumptions because you’re humiliating yourself and we are basically in public, if you want to have a conversation with someone, drop the superiority complex and manipulation tactics. If you want to further engage with me, have something intellectually enticing to add to the blog and I might find it worthy of response. Have a better night.

    FNP_ “I give you a direct counter to your comment, and you think it’s a personal attack and me trying to manipulate you.

    Seriously, you’re far more narcissistic than I am if you think stuff that’s not personal or even about YOU at all is about you and personal.”

    Rrose- “Why do you split yourself? It’s deciteful to perception when someone else tries to keep up. But im not going to be gas lighted by you. Don’t get why you have to have ugly. I don’t want to dance anymore.”

    FNP- “There’s literally no splitting going on. I reply with a neutral-tone comment not directed at you, just at your comment, and you explode.”

    Rrose- “FNP it was a metaphor to the neurotypical who tries to make those who suffer from psychopathy evil. Why would they intentionally attack a psychopath for validation? That’s why I said if an NP came in a kitchen for no reason then play with then blame the stove they deserve that burn. I was mad becaudr Why does that need to be challenged with literal when it was always metaphorically? And it was for jessica but made originally for YOU lol”

    Rrose- “I told you when you tried that Hannibal lecter shit. “Why would you expect those who willingly play with fire, fear the burn?” Why would you think i wasn’t fully aware of where I was or what I’m doing? Why must your misunderstanding and your lack of effort to clarify be MY CHARACTER FLAWS. Im extremely secure and solid in my head.”

    FNP- “What “Hannibal lecter shit”? Honestly, the only similarities I really see are that I’m a psychopath and I like classical music.

    The way you spew these comments in rage at me really shows how “extremely secure and solid” you are. /sarcasm”

    RRose- “And your attempts at gas lighting me are pathetic. All it does is say victory. And the star is moving on. Enjoy nothing”

    FNP- “Because I actually had to look up the definition of gaslighting, here it is, since you clearly don’t know and you’re just spewing psychopathfree crap:

    “Gaslighting or gas-lighting is a form of mental abuse in which a victim is manipulated into doubting their own memory, perception, and sanity. Instances may range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.”

    You see that part about intention of disorienting the victim? I’ve got no intention of disorienting you. I’m responding to your comments, not trying to manipulate you to believe I’m innocent.”

    Pick up on this blog and read on then determine if subtle gas-lighting occurred. Your move FNP

    • beneficii says

      I don’t see it. Simply denying what you’ve said based on interpretation is not gaslighting: it’s disagreement.

      • Rrose says

        I disagree. The goal is to defend against me seeing the narcissist’s manipulation. He is attempting to deny former past behavior and pegging me as confused. This is a gaslight.

        • says

          Stop gaslighting beneficii! Your disagreement means gaslighting!!1!

          Sarcasm aside, I’m not denying any past behavior on these comments. I know that most people hate me because I’m a sadist, a psychopath and a Nazi. But I’ve never denied that behavior, especially not when I interact with you.

          You taking disagreement with you as gaslighting just because it’s a psychopath that disagrees with you, however, is something else. It’s some kind of bias against the opinions of psychopaths.

          • Andrew says

            You guys – go to YouTube and type in “Renfield @ Love at First Bite” and watch just through the first spoken line. I hope you will find it funny.

          • says

            Not sure what I’m supposed to find funny about a guy playing piano and saying “SHH” as the first spoken line.

        • Jessica Kelly says

          You need to calm down or go somewhere else. This isn’t the right place for such nonsense.

        • says

          I’m curious to know what these “threats” are. The only time I say psycho is in response to someone saying that psychopaths are psychos, when it clearly only refers to psychotic people.

          Which I’m pretty sure is what I said when you said I was psycho, Rrose.

  7. MMS says

    My comment was a new one – 4 July 2016 at 9.42 am – but (unwisely) placed where the reference to feelings was because that was what sort of set my mind on a tangent.

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