I’ll be done with this arc soon enough, and I ask you, my valued reader, to bear with me while I flesh out this confusing time. Longtime readers will note that I have not been writing much lately. This is partially due to the fact that I have written so many angles on the subjects of ASPD and psychopathy that it becomes harder with each post to find new material that is insightful and engaging for new and old reader alike. More than this, however, I have found disdain for my communication circles that revolve around antisocials and narcissists. I grow tired of listening to stories of caricature, knowing all too well that I once was cartoonish with my antics as well. There is only so much benefit, of which diminishing returns had more than arrived, in communicating with the damned. I am tired of standing up for those that will not embrace their individuality. I may be mostly unconcerned with issues of morality, but I am an ardent believer in the fact that individuals are ultimately responsible for their own fate. Combine this with the fact that I have often been taken advantage of given my willingness to be a resource, and the discourse became less and less important to me. Where do I go from here? I do not yet know.
I suppose that I can be a glorified textbox. I can listen to those that ask for my insight and offer no investment into whether they ultimately succeed or fail in those endeavors they wish to partake in. As time goes on and I see innumerable wastes of life, it becomes harder for me to maintain the angle that those stigma attached to the antisocial condition are unwarranted as individuals remain individuals. It is tiring. I am always open to a change in my opinions and I suppose this blog serves as a chronicle of those processes that drive me and that have evolved over time. That said, I cannot write solely for myself. My ego is not that desperate. I have received countless notes over the years from those lives I have touched, and I am grateful for such input even if my considerations for those lives are minimal. Hosting is cheap, so I will not pull the plug on the website ever again, but at the same time, I need to meet the high bar I set for myself nearly three years ago: to entertain and educate in a manner that is rooted in logic and that yields both question and answer for the inquisitive reader. This year, I am unsure whether I am meeting that expectation that I hold for myself.
None of this is meant to be “goodbye” nor a definitive return from the vanishing that I sought. I have held myself to a code that demands honesty with my readers and I feel obligated to give them an unfiltered look into this struggle I engage in. I am hesitant to revisit topics that I have written about before, even if newer readers could benefit from a recap of those arcs. I am also hesitant to provide any writings that do not meet the strict criteria I enumerated earlier in this post. I am willing to entertain all inquiries, and maybe the nature of this blog going forward will be to have conversations that are bidirectional rather than unidirectional. I do not say that as a means of applying pressure to my readership, but as a suggestion. Please, tell me what I can do for you. Maybe then I will become corporeal once more. Otherwise – or even with a revival of communication, we shall see – I shall lie dormant more than I am awake. I am not here to waste anyone’s time and I appreciate all that you, my cherished readers, have done for me the past three years. I just want to make sure that I am providing the entertainment and education that you desire, for ultimately my words can only be measured by those lives that have been touched, no matter how minutely.