On Remorse

It is well known that psychopaths lack remorse for their antisocial actions.  However, I fail to see why remorse is necessary to the human condition.  Remorse is a feeling state.  As with all feeling states, it passes.  Therefore, many are assigning arbitrary weight to a transient emotion.  Those that place value on remorse suggest that it is necessary for the reformation of a person doing bad deeds.  However, there are plenty of other incentives for one not to revisit their antisocial ways.  Nonetheless, people live and die by their capacity to feel remorse – see sentencing criteria for cases potentially involving the death penalty.  A logical mind should be able to “reform” without emotions clouding their judgement.  A logical mind has no use for such a self-loathing state.

There are plenty of mechanisms that can lead to reformation of the antisocial and/or psychopath.  Most notably, the mindful individual should realize that the inconveniences of getting wrapped up in the legal system are simply not worth it.  They should also realize that having a revolving door of acquaintances is also detrimental to one’s quality of life.  I’m not going to pretend that most psychopaths, in particular, come to these realizations, but there are individuals that do.  It follows that we place too much weight on the emotional state of remorse when determining whether one can be rehabilitated.  The individual can react even without such a perverted state.

There are also artificial applications of the importance of remorse based on whom is feeling (or not feeling) the emotion.  The psychopath is singled out for being destructive and a lack of remorse is used by those in power to exacerbate any punishments given to the psychopath.  However, the neurotypical is suspect to bouts of a lack of remorse as well.  As long as the mind can justify one’s actions, remorse need not enter the picture.  Consider violence in the name of deities or in the name of passion.  Such crimes are often rationalized as justifiable and the individual at fault does not feel remorse as a result.  As long as one can rationalize their actions, remorse is a non-indicator of ability to be rehabilitated.  It is hypocritical for the neurotypical to single out the psychopath when each and every person on this earth has rationalized bad behavior in one form or another.

Remorse is a non-factor in determining the future actions of an individual.  Let the punishment fit the crime and no harsher.  Neurotypicals that focus on remorse are missing the point.  There are ways to rehabilitate an individual that does not feel remorse, and every person that breathes can rationalize bad behavior in such a way as to avoid such an inconvenient feeling state.  Feeling states pass.  Eventually remorse dulls and one accepts their past sins.  There is simply no reason to single out any one group for their lack of feelings when all are equally flawed.

Faux Wool - More on Psychopathic Passing
Dilution - ASPD as a Disorder


  1. says

    remorse stops you hurting people if you have empathy. It’s the brakes in the car, I noticed that my P could not say sorry for anything at all because it was another person that ‘made him rage’ or a situation that forced him to be callous, never ever his own choices.
    That was a strange feature of the condition. He sulked and when I failed to notice he would message me and say I didn’t ring you yesterday I was sulking about ….
    This is a middle aged man !!!

  2. Kathy says

    There is this thing about rationalization and remorse.

    You see, psychopaths are known to lack remorse not simply because of a bad action they did, but rather because of the repetition factor that comes with it. They also lack remorse because they refuse to take their part of responsibility in their actions; looks like whatever they do should always be acceptable.

    To affirm that everybody rationalize their actions is true; but to use that statement to pretend that everybody rationalize on the same level is a complete lie. Many people are capable to face (both publicly and privately) who they are in real life and assume what they do and want; which is rarely the case for sexual predators like psychopaths.

    To rationalize that rationalizing a crime is okay because everybody rationalizes their own actions is flawed and does not excuse criminal behavior. To rationalize that a girl is a slut to justify her rape is flawed in itself; to rationalize that everybody is a traitor to justify killing students is flawed; to rationalize that your lack of personal control is not your fault is flawed.

    Also, it is quite pitiful to see how one will victimize psychopaths by saying that ”remorse is used by those in power to exacerbate any punishments given to the psychopath” like if it was the psychopath that was the victim of something, which again, is a complete lie.

    Psychopaths do not feel remorse and rationalize their crimes because they lack basic decency and understanding of their environment. Psychopaths do not understand the real value of relationships and the reason for that is because psychopaths are not as smart as they believe they are. You don’t desire to enslave people and to be admire by your slaves when you are grounded in reality and selfawareness; rather you understand that humans have little meaning in the universe and that there is no reason for you to believe that you matter more than anything nor anyone else.

    I don’t have a special place in the universe, and because my ego is decent and that I possess a true sense of self, I can deal with that cold fact. Sorry that you weak fools cant. cope with that. Have fun looking for constant validation from strangers around you. I wish for you one day to understand that a lot of people can regard others as being insignificant and that the same people are smart enough to recognize that they are no different.

    We are all pointless in the cosmos. I don’t need to destroy people’s lifes to escape in the illusion that I matter most. Again, we do not all rationalize at the same level, and obviously, some people got lost along the way.

    • Jessica Kelly says

      Rationalization as you call it cannot exist without the biased perspective of the one rationalizing. Simply put, I don’t need to rationalize anything. Good and bad and all in between exist in a vacuum in their pure state; the psychopath need not attach any meaning to this vacuum as so many others are prone to.

    • FNP says

      A few things I noticed:

      1. You think you’re not some sort of superior being, but you look down on everyone as “weak fools”. That right there is called cognitive dissonance.

      2. You claim that I have no remorse because I lack basic decency and understanding of my environment. Yet, I have no doubt that if we were to meet on the street, you’d be throwing punches at me while I’m giving food to the homeless. If I’m not as smart as I think I am, why is it that I’m a published author while you’re reduced to raging at people like me on the internet? You seriously have nothing better to do with your time? (as I post this, I’m eating breakfast before I resume working on my 2nd book)

      3. You talk a lot about rationalization, but you ignore the fact that you’re rationalizing psychopaths’ behavior as something only fools do. You rationalize that we all act the way we do because we’re criminals and sexual predators. Here’s a hint for you: I have never received more than a traffic ticket, and I’m happily married with a kid. I have no desire to run amok raping women or slaughtering people. Every psychopath on this site is the same way.

      4. You seem to think it’s okay for people who commit the exact same crime to be given differing punishments depending solely on whether or not they’re psychopathic or not. Would you be okay with spending 20 extra years in prison simply because your brain developed in a different way to someone else’s? You really do seem like the type that would encourage euthanizing psychopaths on the basis of genetic and environmental differences. Just think: I’m a Nazi and I wouldn’t even do that.

      5. It’s widely known that the more intelligent a person is, the less value they place on the emotional needs of others. You would rather live in a world without Einstein, just because you lack his IQ and it makes you feel a need to try to shame others into believing your bullshit.

      PS: I don’t want slaves. That’s counterproductive. I’d much rather have workers that love me.

      • Kathy says

        1. Not everybody; abusive people. Also, cognitive dissonance and incoherence are not the same thing. Thinking that I am not perfect while believing some people are jerks do not cause me psychological stress and discomfort and it is not contracditory either.

        2. Nothing is relevant in what you wrote; where is your story about rocks even comes from? And surely the fact that I express myself here means you can determine my worth, how I think and what kind of person I am.

        3. I believe abusive people are fools, which is the case of most psychopaths and other kind of narcissists. And surely, since you know your kind, you agree that abusive people exist and the fact they don’t get caught doesn’t mean they don’t do wrongs. Surely you know what are the bad effects of entitlement.

        4. Again, repeated offences and the lack in capacity to change criminal behavior is what is relevant to look at when it comes down to justice sentences.

        5. It is widely known that psychopaths and narcissists live in a fantasy world where they believe they have it all when in reality they live an image; no one can have healthy relationships while not caring about the feelings and well being of others. Having a marriage and a kid is irrelevant in determining one’s success; many people abuse their family or are abused by it and everybody knows it. Most abusive people lack the capacity to understand the extend of their actions and behaviors on others and will refuse to take responsibility for it; it is widely known that psychopaths are little kids inside and lack emotional maturity that any adult must have to support others properly (especially their family).

        6. My comments were not about you personnally; maybe you would have catch that if you weren’t so convince you are the center of the universe. Also, yes, I think it is a shame that manipulative people believe abusing people has no meaning; abuse is highly significant to consider when one wants to understand a situation for what it really is. If you can talk about psychopathy without covering the abuse and delusion that come with it, you are lacking transparency and insight about this pathology. I think it is important to point out that hatred, envy, jealousy and paranoia are not feelings that everybody experience in their life and also that those feelings are rarely a sign of an healthy well balance smart person.

        7. Surely some psychopaths could be decent people, but between you and me, those ones wouldn’t claim proudly to be Nazis. I am sorry for your family man, everyone deserve to be treated with respect and there is no way you can understand what that means if you believe WhiteMen is a superior race. (No one matters in the universe, not me, not you. And i don’t need to give you meaning to treat you decently.)

        • FNP says

          1. Cognitive dissonance is believing two contradictory things at the same time and not realizing there’s a conflict. For example, believing that you have a normal ego and at the same time believing that everyone you don’t like is a “weak fool”.

          2. I have no story at all about rocks. Perhaps you should try reading what I wrote. As for your worth, my estimation is that your existence is neither valuable nor worthless to me, given that I’ve never met you, and words on the internet aren’t by definition true.

          3. I know that you feel entitled to things simply because you’re clearly an easily-offendable liberal. The reality is that nobody is entitled to anything at all. People who believe they’re entitled to things are people that cry when they don’t get the new iPhone from their parents even though they’re in their 30s.

          4. Increased sentencing has nothing at all to do with recidivism in this case. It’s entirely about the results of a 3-hour interview with a forensic psychologist who gets paid to say people deserve greater sentences based on the structure of their brain.

          5. The things you suggest I do to my family are what’s known as felonies where I live. I have no desire to spend a decade or more of my life in prison, and so I don’t abuse my family. Only a sick fuck like yourself would think that everybody like me is abusive to everyone around them.

          6. If you can’t talk about something without believing the worst about everyone you’re discussing it with, you probably shouldn’t be discussing it in the first place. There is no rule that says that psychopaths must be abusive to everyone in their lives, or even to anybody in their lives. Furthermore, the idea that everyone in a large category (psychopaths and narcissists make up some 18 million Americans) is what your boogeyman fantasy is is frankly ridiculous.

          7. You’re sorry for my family because I’m a Nazi? Wake up and smell the sieg-heiling roses. My wife is an ardent National-Socialist as well, and we’re both German. The very fact that people like yourself outright believe that people like me and my family should be shot in the street proves that you have no moral high ground to stand on. After all, I’ve never once expressed any serious desire to murder Jews or gays or gypsies, but you seem to think that I’d start the first Holocaust just to spite you.

  3. Kathy says

    Look man, nobody said you were abusive, stop talking about you and what you do nobody cares. The point is, abuse exist everywhere, anybody grounded in reality knows that. Most of abuse in life is done by the hands of people with different types of pathology; psychopathy and narcissism being the main ones. No it does not mean that every psychopath is abusive; but most are on different level. Also, domestical abuse is the most common form of abuse and is rarely synonyme of jail time or any kind of consequences for the abuser, no matter the laws that are in place (this is a very well known and documented fact).

    Of course some psychopaths can be ”decently” abusive; maybe their false self is not used to betray people all the time, but everybody will agree that manipulating people is disrespectful in itself and can therefore easily lead to abuse. What is certain though, is that it is hard to have the level of selfishness of a psychopath AND not hurt others around you, since selfishness is abusive in itself. You don’t need to be a psychopath to be too selfish at certain times and cause harm; but what mainly categorize a psychopath is his ultimate and permanent selfishness, so even with the best intentions of the world, the final result is quite constant.

    Selfishness is hurtful, and it is rare that an abusive person will admit and take responsibility for the actions done. Or the person will falsely take responsability but repeat the bad behaviors soon after; it is part of the pathology and has everything to do with a lack of remorse. Also, I don’t believe anybody should be shot in the street. I don’t know why you keep refering to violence about my comments, nor to say that everybody I don’t like is a weak fool. Abusing others is not a sign of strength, no secret here.

    You know abusive people exist. You know most of them are people with pathologies. You know it is wrong to abuse others since apparently you don’t abuse the people around you. So why is it that recognizing that about your kind seems so much of a problem for you? It is common knowledge anyway; no one can feel omnipotent, not care about other’s feelings and be extremely selfish AND be fair, supportive and respectful at all times. Most abusive people don’t even realize they are abusive most of the time since they have never been in touch with healthy and sane living. Being a control freak is not without its flaws; same thing with being a racist.

    • FNP says

      Hint: You should probably learn to look at data before engaging in your angry screeds.

      Things you fucked up on:

      1. The vast majority (96.2%) of abusive people are neither psychopathic nor narcissistic.

      2. You seem to ignore the fact (or flat out just don’t know because you just rant and don’t research things) that it’s quite easy to include one’s family in the definition of self, and always act in the best interest of said group.

      3. Shall I quote your own words regarding where you outright said everyone you don’t like is beneath you and is a weak fool? “I don’t have a special place in the universe, and because my ego is decent and that I possess a true sense of self, I can deal with that cold fact. Sorry that you weak fools cant. cope with that.” That’s not the words of a humble person.

      4. You don’t think violence has anything to do with the conversation? You’re the one who brought up the notion that everyone you dislike is abusive…

      5. Who said anything about being fair or respectful at all times? I simply extend the definition of myself to my family. I have no qualms about fucking over people that aren’t in that group, and I derive a keen sense of satisfaction from ruthlessly destroying people that get in my way.

      6. You think I’m a racist simply because I believe in a system of economics that you don’t? Sorry if that one happens to have a name that makes you think of Jews in ovens, but the reality is that: a) it never happened and b) even if it did, the ideological platform says nothing of the sort. Besides, if I’m as evil and hateful as you think… why is it that I’ve been reading PG’s blog for years (as well as her book)? Surely I’d have to hate someone like her to be the thing you think I am?

      PS: You’re never going to win this. Most people here know from experience that I’ve yet to lose an argument on social media.

      • MMS says

        So would I be correct in assuming that your book is on economics, and that puts you into the category of an economist?

        • FNP says

          You’d be completely wrong. My book is on the topic of political science, and it puts me into the category of being someone who wrote a book on a topic they’re involved in.

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