The neurotypical is not completely unlike the psychopath when it comes to taking responsibility. Sure, maybe they are willing to take responsibility for a fuck-up at work or a missed appointment, but they never take responsibility for their own self-inflicted wounds. I’m thinking primarily of interpersonal relationships gone south. A relationship should be ended whenever a party is harmed; you don’t get to scream ‘abuse’ when you could have chosen not to stick your hand on the hot stove repeatedly. If you missed every single warning sign that another may inflict damage upon you, then get actively harmed, and still choose not to leave … well you have no one to blame but yourself.
In an ideal world, there would be no abusers. However, this is not the case. We teach preparation and caution. “Avoid using a space heater next to fabric.” “Don’t go out after dark without a buddy.” “Don’t drink free-standing water.” We don’t blame the space heater when it starts a fire because someone shoved trash in it. We don’t fault the gas station for not being closer when we run out of gas. There has to be a modicum of responsibility for one’s actions. This certainly applies to people in toxic relationships.
Every excuse as to why one cannot leave a poisonous interpersonal relationship is just that: an excuse. Don’t cry about staying for the kids. Don’t whimper about having nowhere else to go. If you are being mistreated, end the fucking relationship. And, don’t jump to conclusions as to why the other was an abuser. Some people are bad people and it has nothing to do with skin-color, neurodivergence, socioeconomic status, etc. To start assigning labels is to further fall away from the responsibility that should be taken.
No one is going to look out for your life but yourself. Stop faulting everyone else for those hurdles that come your way. Accept responsibility when necessarily and cut out those toxic interpersonal relationships as appropriate. While it is not your fault that you were mistreated, it is your fault if you realize this and keep drinking poison.