I spent this past weekend exploring a town that I was considering moving to. I was going to move there with an acquaintance in the hopes that a change in scenery would alleviate the wanderlust and eternal ennui that I possess. The city did not resonate with me for many reasons, but I bring this up because of one particular incident that happened on the trip. My acquaintance and I were exploring various housing options when we came to the conclusion that most “nice” places to live were outside of our budget. Having looked at some more affordable options, we visited on a suburb that was a bit unkempt but not too bad. After we looked at the property, my acquaintance burst into tears, lamenting the lack of luxury that the property in question had. I was immediately put off. How can I expect to associate with someone that needs emotional support from me when the going gets tough? The short answer is that I can’t.
When the water works come out, I immediately disconnect. I cannot be an emotional crutch for anyone. I am rarely emotional – and those emotions that I do have are weak – and I cannot stand when others are emotional. I am a stoic individual and I expect others to be the same. I attempt to surround myself with the unflappable and stoic as any deviation from that grates on me worse than any itch.
I think this holds true for many psychopaths. We have a notoriously shallow affect that causes us to be more or less stoic with limited deviation. We are guided by logic, no matter how cruel, and often find the emotional lamentations of others to be too much. I cannot be pained to summon my cognitive empathy for those that I feel do not deserve it. Emotional pain is not a sufficient condition for my cognitive empathy.
Ultimately, I will probably sever ties with that acquaintance. The inconvenience and uncomfortable feelings that come with being forced to be an emotional support are too much for me to bear. I will put pennies on his eyes and send him to the land of the dead (to me). I need the stoic, not the emotional. I desire logic, not feeling states.