Sheepskin – Everyone Passes (Or So They Think)


It has been quite a while since I’ve discussed the topic of “passing.” The reader may recall that the concept of passing is quite simple. To pass is to be perceived as a member of group X regardless of whether an individual actually belongs to group X. We often hear of individuals passing as members of the opposite sex; that is, passing is often referred to in the transgender realm, but I would argue that the concept extends to many more areas. What of the poor person that passes as affluent or the mentally ill individual that passes as mentally healthy? The truth is, that we often need to pass in order to get what we desire. Consider the introvert that passes as an extrovert in order to appear socially acceptable or the businessman that is insecure that appears commanding and powerful. Passing is an important skill for anyone, not just the transgender and certainly not just the psychopath.

I think such a demand – the ability to pass – strikes many neurotypicals as odd or unnecessary. We are taught at a young age to “be ourselves,” that individuality reigns supreme. However, reality dictates that certain expectations are to be met in order to succeed in a given arena. Returning to the businessman example, consider what would happen if the naturally subservient to others? He would quickly be taken advantage of by clients. Now, if he were to appear steadfast yet accommodating, he would have a much better chance at making his sales quota as he would appear to be a trusted provider of a product that his client believes they require. Few would argue with such a need to pass in this case, I believe. Even fewer would be offended by such a need. What about the interviewing process? In reality, a game is being played between employer and candidate. The candidate is presenting a combination of bluff and true knowledge and the employer is trying to determine whether the individual truly possesses the traits being discussed or whether some edges are being smoothed. Here, the lines may begin to blur.

Let’s dig deeper. We consciously withhold or embellish certain information in order to fit a certain image. Most do not go into their church and let their gambling habits be known. Maybe we don’t volunteer that we spank our children at the local PTO meeting. We seek lawyers to fix our speeding tickets. We often read the latest political theory that matches the views of those we will be interacting with. So on and so forth. Humans are always molding themselves (whether through their own abilities or from the help of others) in order to blend into a larger group. Everyone passes, or so they think.

Why then is it so insidious that I, a psychopath, can pass as a neurotypical when I want to? I am merely doing what is ultimately most convenient and beneficial for me. A master of deceit, I know those mannerisms and views I must hold in order to remain one of the flock. I know the mechanisms behind the ability to pass that everyone uses on a daily basis. I can spot when others are masking because I know myself to mask. That is all incidental, however. The core point is that there is no difference between my desire to remain inconvenienced and those desires of neurotypicals.

That said, we are afraid of “out groups” that pass as “in groups”. Well, the neurotypical is, anyway; the psychopath hardly cares. This message of fear is propagated by state and society and trickles down to the individual. We don’t want wolves that look like lambs even if those wolves do not strike while in sheepskin. Ironically, in a world of emotion and perception, we want objectivity. Maybe we are afraid that we will be sucker punched by an person we thought familiar as seen by the surveillance state brought in the wake of 9/11? Maybe our guts emit visceral reactions to the mixing of distinct groups; such are the murmurings of conservatives opposed to the transgender. Or maybe we are subconsciously worried about our own ability to pass, lest we be discovered to be someone we are not. We aren’t that different on this front; you just perceive me to be a wolf … though I suppose I could say the same about you.

Violent Static
The Weakest Link of Critical Thought


  1. Anonymous says

    Perhaps it’s not about passing or manipulating your experience, but rather to assimilate and become more involved with other people, and movements that your own sense of character and consciousness grows.

    • Jessica Kelly says

      I don’t believe for a moment that surrendering individuality causes a growth in individuality.

      • Anonymous says

        Buddhist meditation? Meditation of any kind? Surrendering to the experience of life? “Letting go”…? No?

  2. Anonymous says

    I keep hearing this arrogance that seems unjustified as you classify nearly everyone outside yourself as neurotypical and thus, unable to connect with you when the real issue is you know not how to rely on another and connect to them. In which ways do you think your fake smile is more or as convincing as a real, felt one? The emotion that drives forth the smile causes the skin to pull and feel deeper, and for a fact, there ARE different muscles used for fake smiles and genuine ones. The illusion is that you think yourself as a master of deceit when people are just perceiving you as having a bad day and giving you a pass for your more-than-standard display of self-string pulling. We ALL are capable of such shallowness, yet some decline to engage in moments of falsehood which one only serve towards defying oneself further.

  3. mel says

    “A psychopath that holds his actions as sacrosanct cannot change and will never be taken seriously by the neurotypical. A neurotypical that shields themselves from their own darkness will never be respected by the psychopath.” What does your therapist say about this?

    For me, that is one of the most inane statements I have ever read. It makes no sense. Normal people will never, no matter what, take a psychopath seriously because s/he is 100% fake. How can you appreciate, admire or desire that which is not real?

    Normal people have no desire to be respected by psychopaths. Once we have determined that’s what you are, we back away very slowly.

    “Their own darkness?” Are you trying to find a commonality with non-psychopaths? Our minds don’t crave the decay you like to crawl in. “One very interesting aspect of the psychopath is his “hidden life” that is sometimes not too well hidden. It seems that the psychopath has a regular need to take a ‘vacation into filth and degradation’ the same way normal people may take a vacation to a resort where they enjoy beautiful surroundings and culture.” That’s a great quote.

    Normals don’t care how you perceive us. We just want to stay away from you because there is no telling how low a psychopath will go and we do not want to join you in that pool of quick sand!

      • mel says

        If in “psychopathic speak” that means curiosity in how psychopaths think, then yes, I do. For, in the real and normal world, psychopathic writings are not intellectual musings, but rather self indulgent and grandiose pontifications that are hard to follow and make no sense, unless you are a psychopath, of course.

          • mel says

            I read it for entertainment. It’s baffeling. It’s fcainating to see how psychopaths view the world. And yes, sometimes it is hard to follow because of the warped thought processes. The words and writings of a psychopaths are often mind-bending, a strong indication of a disordered mind.

        • Anonymous says

          regardless of the way one may label it (“self indulgent and grandiose pontifications”), it’s not hard to follow (for the most part) and many times it makes sense

          • mel says

            yes, sometimes I can follow it, but that doesn’t mean it makes sence. Most of it is just ramblings, empty justifications for bad behavior. There can never be justification for bad behavior especialy when said behavior harms another

          • FNP says

            I like how “mel” talks about how things are so confusing and don’t make sense, all while horribly misspelling half the words.

          • Jessica Kelly says

            I don’t understand their angle. If they aren’t here to learn, why waste all that energy?

  4. mel says

    FNP – I am not the one trying so desperately to be understood. Your comment is very typical of psychopathic blaming. Just stick to you and your disorder and not to me and my misspelling. Psychopaths always exaggerate. Really? I mispel halph uf whet I right? Hahahahahaha. YOU are laughable.

    Jessica – I am not wasting energy. It doesn’t take much energy to post a comment. Yes, I do learn from your writings. Mostly I have learned how psychopaths…….

    • FNP says

      If you can’t write in a manner that showcases intelligence, it doesn’t really matter what you’re writing. It could be the next Communist Manifesto, but nobody gives a fuck if you can’t spell words like “sense”.

      That’s a 2nd grade word here in the US of A.

  5. mel says

    No one but you?! It’s quite common for a psychopath to use deflection when when backed into a corner. Ha! FNP , that’s what you are doing now. Let’s get off topic and talk about spelling instead of arguing about the original post and comment that followed. Psychopaths are so predictable. It’s so easy to spot the patterns of psychopathic behavior.

    • Anonymous says

      Mel, not sure that this is what’s going on (don’t think so). But doing that it’s not characteristic of psychopaths. Believe me I’ve had a lot of arguments online before and usually people in general do it.

      • FNP says

        She assumes that I’m trying to deflect the conversation, but there’s no deflection or misdirection going on. It is legitimately difficult for me to take people who can’t spell very well seriously. It’s a marker for low intelligence as well.

        • Anonymous says

          sometimes it’s just a typo &/or they aren’t native speakers and by experience, the teaching of foreign languages is not that good in some countries. You may misjudge people if you just assume that there’s no other explanation.

          As a side note, this time you’re probably right.

      • mel says

        FNP – Of course you would deflect and change the conversation. Hey, forget about “W”, what about “XYZ?” Let’s not talk about the original comment made: “A psychopath that holds his actions as sacrosanct cannot change and will never be taken seriously by the neurotypical. A neurotypical that shields themselves from their own darkness will never be respected by the psychopath.” and lets talk about how misspelling is a marker for lack of intelligence. hahahahahaha
        Psych’s are so predictable. I wonder if the inability to learn from past mistakes is a marker for lack of intelligence?

        BTW: So you can speak intelligently on the subject of misspelling (It is not a marker for lack of intelligence):

        Another marker for psychopaths – Thinking they know it all

        • FNP says

          You do realize that that “study” showed there was a 22.3% correlation between intelligence and spelling ability, but then they went on to say it wasn’t a correlation, don’t you? Or did you just find a study that confirmed your opinion in the title without actually reading it?

          If psychopaths were never taken seriously, then how do psychopaths end up in positions of power in the first place? If it’s so easy to spot a psychopath, then why don’t you just lock every psychopath up?

          It’s probably something to do with the fact that you can’t identify a psychopath who commits no crimes, harms no people, and has none of those “identifying markers” that you claim all psychopaths have, yet still is an assessed psychopath. You meet me on the street and you think you’ll immediately know I’m a psychopath? Unlike the author of this blog, I have no intention of giving out my name for the world to see, nor will I ever post a picture of myself to tumblr (though that’s also partly because of my highly unpopular political views).

          • Anonymous says

            FNP, a 23% correlation doesn’t make it a very reliable marker for low intelligence. The correlation is not even moderate. However, given mel’s track record, I don’t think we can say she’s very smart.

          • FNP says

            If 23% of those in a study have a common characteristic (low intelligence in this case), it’s reasonable to see that there is a correlation.

          • mel says

            FNP – Psychopaths end up in positions of power because of the fact that they are unfazed. However, the latest research shows that due to their self serving nature they have a tendency to “eat their own” and will inevitably take the ship down with them after the climb to the top. Maybe not such a smart choice after all. Entirely too risky hmmmm? So, essentially, the glory days of the psychopath are coming to an end. Also, all you have to do is google spelling and intelligence and you will find LOTS of information. Typical, know it all psychopath: thinking, just because you say so, it is. hahaha

            Anonymous – Better my track record than yours – deflect, deflect, deflect. How smart are you/? You can’t even stay on topic and need to find, or manifature a falt because your argument is weak and deosn’t make sence. Typical psychopath.

            I’m bored with this now. The two of you can argue your 22’s and 23’s. How mundane. That’s the sad reality of having no core.

          • Anonymous says

            Mel, you made a comment, a subjective appreciation of Jessica’s writings and I gave you my perspective to make you see that your opinions are not absolute truths, and that I think you should consider the possibility that the problem is that YOU have difficulty following and the problem is not in the text. That’s all.

  6. Jessica Kelly says

    Mel, not everyone you meet is a psychopath and the majority of the readership of this blog is NT.

    • FNP says

      The funny bit is that she claimed she was bored, before the only psychopath talking with her was bored.

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