I’m hungry and I need to feed. I’m thirsty and I need a drink. I’m idle and I need to act. The life of the successful psychopath is full of frustration; we know that there are lines that cannot be crossed no matter how compelled we feel to drive further. God knows I want to bludgeon someone out of a combination of boredom and / or hate. Devil knows I need a drink, that all too familiar numbness has been gone for far too long. I want to lash out, and I want to destroy. I know that I can’t. I don’t know that I won’t, though.
Compulsion is a powerful thing. It can break the mightiest of steadfast thoughts and restraint. I am compelled to destroy. I can’t say for certain whether all psychopaths share in this compulsion. I am not merely antisocial, I am opposed to the social order that is in place. Combine that with intellectual anger and hatred toward the status quo and you have a ticking time bomb. What can be done about this, though? Should I be taken out of the game before I’ve had a chance to act one way or another? Many think so. Ultimately, my actions will dictate my freedom and or oppression.
I hunger but can’t feed. I thirst but can’t drink. I’m idle and can’t act. This is my sentence. If I want to remain in the good graces of the powers that be, I simply have no choice. I may be amoral, but I cannot deny that I am chaotic. Driven by logic, except when I’m not, it seems logical to placate my wants and desires. In the meantime, I count down the days until I expire, knowing that this life cannot reach full potential. The potential for destruction is a potential for self-destruction. That is a price I cannot pay. I’ve got a compulsion for hate, but I alone am the one with the finger on the trigger.