Burning Bridges

I’ve written about the psychopath’s tendency to completely walk away from interpersonal relationships when the terms are not favorable.  I don’t believe I’ve really gone into those transgressions that cause a psychopath to burn bridges, however.  Most neurotypicals find that there is a lot of give and take in interpersonal relationships, that the going will not always be good but there is a belief that both parties will give a good faith effort to make forward progress.  My experience and communication with other psychopaths implies that there is no give and take, usually, when it comes to the interpersonal relationships that the psychopath forms.  Regardless of effort shown or given by the psychopath, the only metric that matters is the worth of the other individual.  Any falter or transgression may very well be fatal to the interpersonal relationship.

Sometimes I will leave because the other party is simply too uninteresting.  Other times I will leave because I disagree with their opinions, no matter how inconsequential.  Maybe they forgot to repay a favor I conducted, or possibly they actually were malevolent toward me in a way that truly did not matter or register as damaging.  The point is that I suppose that I expect “perfection” from those around me.  I place the word perfection in quotes because what I am really expecting is a state without harm nor irritation.  It is hard to describe how truly inconsequential actions may be that cause me to leave an interpersonal relationship.  All it takes is one false step by the other party and I am gone.

This leaves me in a state that is that of a perpetual loner, but at the same time it ensures that I am not wasting my time with those that I consider dead weight.  Yes, my definition of dead weight may include the living at times, but I suspect this is a consequence of my inability to think toward the future.  I hold no illusion that those interpersonal relationships that I have now will last months, much less years, into the future.  At the same time, however, I know that I won’t be tempted to behave badly when surrounded by irritants.  I’m a firestarter looking for bridges to burn, I suppose and all I need is the slightest reason to strike a match.

Victim Complex
One Fix

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    perfectionism obviously isn’t possible either from other people or from yourself. it is something that should be worked towards and not expected as a possibility. this is splitting and perfectionism

    • Anonymous says

      Worked towards? To an extent, sure. But ultimately any one person isn’t going to change drastically unless you make an effort changing them, which requires energy spent on your part. I like to work with what a person can offer and see if I can enable them to go beyond their perceived skillset. But eventually I will close in on their real limitations. When that happens I make an effort to accommodate, perhaps unusually for someone with no complex emotions, but from my experience it doesn’t last and they will find someone else to cater for the emotional components I cannot provide. Simply put, it’s a game of tetris, you wait for the blocks that fill the gaps, until the lines explode, and you start from scratch.

      • FNP says

        The more energy required to mold someone else into someone I’d spend any time with, the less willing I am to actually spend that energy.

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