Will

I used to lose sleep over the fact that some will persecute others.  The transgender is persecuted by the cisgender.  The homosexual is persecuted by the heterosexual.  Blacks are persecuted by whites.  Psychopaths are persecuted by the neurotypical. Sometimes these persecutions are justified, sometimes they are not.  On an individual level, behavior can be deemed acceptable or unacceptable to those holding power who can then exact their power on those that they can subjugate.  I used to lose sleep, but I do not any longer.  The childhood mantra of “being oneself” means nothing in the world in which we live in.

The mother tells her young son, “You can be anyone you want to be.”  However she also tells him of Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny (in many households, that is).  These are all lies.  There are parameters in place by those with power that ensure that one is not too far off from what is considered “normal” or “acceptable.”  There is great disillusion in realizing that one must fit a mold that is shaped differently than their birth form.  Many lament the fact that they are not accepted in a straight society or a prominently Christian society, for example.  Some turn to suicide, others to the bottle, and some twist and contort their spines until they fit the shape demanded.  I used to lose sleep, but then I realized that ultimately I have my own power and thus my own ability to fight back.

The truth is that the psychopath is in an interesting position in life.  She can harm without regret and she can take what has been conferred to her or what has not.  There are few lamentations over her standing in the world, for she knows that she is a quick scheme away from being back in the driver’s seat.  On a societal level, maybe she is doomed to fail (as is the transgender and homosexual), but on the individual level she is an unholy force that cannot be stopped.  She can be anyone she wishes to be.  She can take and she can give away; all without a care in the world.  For those psychopaths that are more self-aware, maybe there is a sense of anger over their position in the world.  No one likes one without empathy.  However, this anger can be honed and focused into a ever-burning ray of destruction and a holy deed for a holy cause.  I used to lose sleep, but now I simply reduce to ash those who oppose me.  I will be myself.

Exorcism
The Ankh

Comments

  1. Derash says

    Definitely one of your strongest and more poignant writings. I’ve been looking for a new way to express such criticisms from my end. This shed some new light on it with the last paragraph in particular.

  2. Derash says

    “The childhood mantra of ‘being oneself’ means nothing in the world in which we live in.”

    Something playing in my head recently has been this line. Have you ever thought about the plausibility of rectifying this truth? It’s late right now, and perhaps I’m overlooking that this has already been attempted to a degree, but it’s something to chew on.

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