What differentiates me from others that write on the subjects of ASPD and/or psychopathy is the degree to which I am open and transparent with my readership. I do not write under a pseudonym and I am transparent with the benefits and challenges that the conditions present me. I try my best to paint the picture with as much clarity as possible and to give true examples from my own experiences in order to bring the world of the abstract into the concrete. I have been honest with my intentions of publishing a book and in explaining the role that my readership has. I continue my promise that I will be transparent on all fronts and for this I must mention the elephant in the room.
I am tired. Quite possibly the frequent Bipolar cycling of late has left me drained, or it could quite possibly be that I have somehow written nearly 400 posts on the subjects, touching on nearly every aspect of the antisocial condition that I can think of. Servers do not come for free, and so I expend money along with the time and energy that goes into these words. And, what do I really have to show for it? I have my loyal fanatics as do most bloggers, I have those that hate me, and I have those that stumble in from search engines from time to time. There are a few voices – of which I am very grateful and humbled – that choose to pipe up from time to time, but ultimately this boat is going in circles.
For nineteen months, I have kept going – sans a few breaks related to Bipolar depression. But, I am not sure whether it makes sense to continue going. Lest the reader infer a connotation that I do not mean to imply, this is not a call for pity. However, I do want to conduct a reality check before I continue further. Does this blog still mean something to you? Is my perspective one that is worth fighting stormy seas to further? I haven’t made any decisions yet as to whether to pull the plug, but I am considering all input – my readers, my therapist, and myself included.