I was driving to work this morning and speeding through the parking garage when I had to suddenly stop due to a vehicle that pulled out in front of me. This would, for most, not be a problem but I was on my phone checking social media and had taken off my seat belt a few minutes before. I hit my head on the windshield and I am still a little woozy from the whole ordeal. A difference in the degree that one cares about their own well-being is evident between those with only ASPD and those with psychopathy. The psychopath often considers himself to be invincible and many believe that they will find ways to cheat their own eventual deaths. The ASPD individual, while reckless with respect to her own mortality, does not have such a grand delusion.
I know that I will one day die, but that does not stop me from taking steps that seem to all but ensure that it will come sooner rather than later. I smoke heavily, used to drink alcohol like it was water, and I drive recklessly merely because I can. I bleed money and other resources that ensure my survival. Yet, I know that I will one day die. I’ve talked with many psychopaths that do not have such a concern, they see effective immortality that rides contrary to their actions. Both the ASPD individual and the psychopath are reckless, it’s merely the foresight for the eventual “suicide” that differs.
I tell myself that I will buckle up in the future and avoid such carelessness as I enacted this morning, but I know that I will eventually forget. Even though I have a concrete realization that I will one day expire, I keep telling myself that it can’t be “today”. Eventually it will be today and I will suffer the consequences, but in the meantime I simply don’t care.