When a Psychopath Ends Relationships

I’ve noticed that many psychopaths are very quick to ditch deadwood.  The psychopath does not humor that which ceases to provide value or is otherwise frustrating.  This is especially apparent with acquaintanceships.  The Borderline individual may shift from idealization and devaluation and back, but the psychopath only devalues in this context.  Whereas the Borderline will seek to repair relationships that they’ve written off as dead, my experience with the psychopath suggests that once the friend or acquaintance has been devalued, there is no turning back.  The relationship is dead and gone.

A former close friend of mine lived many thousands of miles away but we would chat daily.  We would send each other gifts and generally enjoyed each other’s company.  One day this changed, however.  I had triggered her unintentionally a few times with my aloof callousness, but a visceral and automatic response of mine to a sad situation she informed me of caused a most triggering reaction for her.  She demanded an apology for my behavior even though she knew that I am a psychopath and thus prone to faux pas related to empathy and concern. I was unwilling to give it.  I was simply tired of the emotional bond she expected of me and tired of the poor reactions from her when I “failed”.  I told her to go away (though in much less cordial terms) and I have not spoken to her since.  I don’t anticipate rekindling that relationship.

Once a person has proven that they are too needy or too worthless, the psychopath ends the relationship.  I know that many neurotypicals often try to rekindle relationships that are on the rocks, but for the psychopath there simply is no energy to spend on that which does not provide the benefit she once enjoyed.  There are no Borderline hysterics and apologies, there is merely cold static and silence as she walks away from the relationship forever.

Why Psychopaths Are Feared
Psychopaths and Regret

Comments

  1. Leslie Katona says

    Psychopath is a rather vague,and now trendy description of certain personality characteristics that are found to be undesirable by most people. Someone who is selfish,self-centred, spoiled, manipulative, dishonest, etc. Characteristics that describe many, often those with power,influence etc.can now be said to be psychopaths,There is no accurate way to diagnose who is actually a psychopath, it’s to some extent a subjective label.To say that someone had an affair etc.and that that makes them a psychopath is jumping the gun, since that would make half of Hollywood denizens psychopathic, judging from the way they carry on.Often it’s a person not fitting into a particular social mileu that doesn’t meet their needs that may make them seem to take on psychopathic traits.These traits may disappear when that person becomes involved in a relationship that is suitable to their needs and characteristics eg.such as mutually supportive non-judgemental open relationship,since now they no longer have the need to lie about their affairs etc. Society’s restrictive and unrealistic, sometimes pathological norms may sometimes be the cause of behaviours that seem psychopathic. Puritanical societies for instance were not healthy. Eg. The protagonist in the novel “The Scarlet Letter” was seen in those times as evil and psychopathic, yet would no longer be deemed as such today.Wars also cause people to take on psychopathic characteristics etc
    etc.

    • says

      There is a very accurate way to determine if someone is a psychopath.

      It’s called the PCL-R, and everyone who has been assessed as psychopathic has had this assessment done.

      You need to match a large number of traits to be psychopathic, and they need to have a significant impact on your life.

  2. Anonymous says

    One amazing thing with neurotypicials is that they will have a strong emotional reaction, claim to be fed up with you… and still come back to you for a really simple excuse. Because they expect that other people are just as emotional. So when someone is being annoying or uninteresting I usually don’t bother. Let them be pissed off for the moment. I might get back in touch in the future, time is of no consequence to me.

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