Between the Hammer and the Anvil

Yes, the majority of psychopaths give nothing to those around them.   They take and pillage without a hint of redeeming value.  In addition, most psychopaths cross the line society has drawn and will spend (or are spending) time in prison with little hope of ever contributing to society in any meaningful fashion.  I’ve been struggling lately with respect to my own place in this world.  I have never been convicted of any crime and I am trying (gods, am I trying) to walk a path of restraint in the post-diagnosis world of relative clarity.  However, many do not care.  They discount any endeavor that I engage in as being tainted by psychopathy.  There is no escape from those that would rather see me fail in every way imaginable.  Likewise, I cannot flee the footsteps at my back that seek to discredit anything I do regardless of whether my psychopathy influenced such endeavors.

I used to be the staunchest (and most vocal) of liberals.  Conservatives were all trash and filth and I could care less if they were thrown in pitch and set ablaze.  Part of my own maturation process has been to leave the world of generalities.  Maybe most conservatives are repugnant with views of misogyny and ignorance, but I have come to learn that this does not extend to them all.  I have learned to (while tempering my own extremism) treat individuals as individuals and to refrain from throwing everyone under the bus without due consideration.  Now, I face such a situation in reverse.  Many want to have my head on a pike because I lack empathy and remorse.  They want me to perish and fail because I have antisocial proclivities.

The motives of “in-group” members are never questioned it seems.  The second one is found to be in the out-group, all bets are off.  Psychopaths, rightly or wrongly, are in everyone’s out-group.  The successful psychopath that stays out of jail and stays within the good graces of society is still placed under the microscope – except that no one pays attention to the image in front of them.  There is no acceptable “proof” that the successful psychopath can achieve great things that may – though, probably not the intention – benefit others around him.  No work, no accomplishment will ever be enough for the hardened neurotypical.  The fact that there is most likely a self-serving angle to the successful psychopath’s endeavors are reason enough for most to attack such.  For most, the fact that none of us came to a realization or diagnosis without a sordid past discredits our future.  We are boxed in and suffocated.  Between the hammer and the anvil, psychopaths lie in wait for opportunities to arise, to engage in our hopes and dreams – such hopes and dreams that need not be in opposition to the mandate of pro-sociality that society dictates.

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