Will Anything Ever Satisfy? … Psychopaths and Boredom

When people say they are bored, they often mean that they simply are tired of the activity that they are engaging in and that something else would alleviate the unsettling condition.  For the psychopath, in general, there exists nothing that is satisfying for more than mere moments at a time.  The grandest scheme or affirmation of our self-grandiosity only registers in a positive manner for the briefest of time.  Endeavors and activities that don’t reach that level tend not to register at all.  It is the single most damnable aspect of the syndrome.

Imagine that you are stuck in a lecture hall listening to a boring presentation on a topic that you have no interest in.  Now, imagine that that presentation will never end until you die.  There is no hope of being stimulated.  There is no hope in becoming invested in the discussion at hand.  You are trapped in a living hell.  For many psychopaths, this is exactly what their eternal state consists of.  There is simply nothing that comes close to providing appropriate stimulation.

I’ve given presentations at international conferences.  I’ve done drugs and behaved in a near-continuous reckless manner for most of my life.  At no point did satisfaction last for more than a day – more often, a few minutes.  I keep searching for something that will satisfy my damnable boredom.  Stroking my ego or exciting my senses simply does not work.  I’m left in a state where I have a world of things that I could do, but I do none of them because I know that they all will fail to satisfy me in a meaningful and long-lasting fashion.  For instance, writing on this blog and discussing antisocial-spectrum features with my readers keeps me occupied, but occupation is not the same as being content with one’s state of being.  I am still bored.

I suspect this is why many psychopaths never mature.  We keep looking for a fix that will satisfy.  Unable to find anything sufficient, we turn to more and more extreme measures hoping that we can prove our condition wrong.  Some turn to violence and extreme antisocial behavior, not as a strategic measure, but simply as a way to try and satisfy their eternal boredom.  And, they never succeed.  A trail of destruction is left in their wake and they are no more satisfied than they were to begin with.  This restlessness and boredom with an unquenchable need for stimulation ultimately is the greatest curse of being psychopathic.

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  1. bea says

    I was wondering what you think about the concept that the psychopath is actually very boring to us more normal people? Are they projecting their boredom onto others or is their lack of emotional repertoire the reason they bore others? I would be interested to know what you think about this.

  2. bea says

    Can I also ask, does the psychopath create the chaos and drama in a relationship to keep the other party interested? To some degree this perhaps alleviates the boredom in the relationship for both parties, don’t you think?

  3. mem says

    Ive just extracted myself from a several year relationship with a psychopath. Your blog has made the final breaking of all communication possible. The create the chaos question above sums up our entire chaotic relationship. However, there was one constant, a total infatuation with one individual who would be referred to regularly. My question is….I know the person exists, but could that person be in danger? Or was the infatuation a ‘lie’ to feed the chaos and increase his power over me? P.s. I know you wont appreciate it, but you’ve saved my life.

  4. Lora says

    Try falling in love really hard!
    It works for psycho too. You dont need empathy to fall in love you just need to open.

    • Eileen Martinez says

      Could you please explain in detail what you mean….. I didnt think Psychopathshe could fall in love. Do psychopath get bored in relationships?

      • FNP says

        While I doubt that “Lora from December 2014” will ever reply to you, I can answer your question.

        Yes. Us psychopaths get bored in “relationships”. Once the cons outweigh the pros in the relationship, we’ll get tired of masking to maintain the idea that we’re normal. While your idea of cons in relationships might be something along the lines of “doesn’t do the dishes on their night”, for us cons are more like “wants me to reciprocate feelings for them when in reality they just exist to give me benefits”.

  5. says

    My psycho experience was he loved falling in love, very intense.
    But he moves on to a new partner every eight months and repeats the experience over and over. Each woman elevated then discarded, every woman is his dream for six months top.
    He is constantly seeking your replacement but won’t get out of the bath unless the radiator is on. They are such great liars cheating is easy without conscience or caring about the woman they ‘love’.

    • FNP says

      These kinds of comments always make me laugh.

      It’s like people think us psychopaths are meant to actually cherish and love them or whatever the line in the vows is.

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