From my conversations with others (and my own experiences), psychopaths tend not to be loyal people.  Nearly all interpersonal matters are selfish in nature for us.  What have you done for me now?  What are you doing for me soon?  We are amnesiac, and the benefits of the past mean little if an acquaintanceship is not producing in the present.

Our cold indifference as we strike those diseased in the now from our lives strikes many as callous and it should.  There is no empathic bond as we determine that the “best” of friends from the past are liabilities in the present.  It matters not that another may have helped us through great struggle or have been there through great triumph.  If a person is not producing – or worse, damaging – in the present, they are often shown the door by the psychopath.  It’s not personal usually, it’s merely a consequence of the self-centered choosing the soil that is best for growth in the moment.

Yes, this amnesia can be damaging.  Every interpersonal relationship has bumps and it is quite possible that many of those that I’ve cut out of my own life with little warning could have given me great benefit since then.  I tend to burn bridges and with such a ferocity that leaves them unable to be rebuilt.  Whether it is my displeasure with the way I was treated exiting a previous job or my disdain for the temporary hiccups of a roommate, the result is the same.  I “forget” all of the benefits that were had and I cut them out with an indifference matching the gardener pruning a tree to keep a disease of the limb from felling the entire body.

Psychopaths can be your greatest ally as we can often turn to means oft considered off-limits to “help” those we respect or find useful.  But,  only the fool would expect us to be around forever.  Eventually you will fail us or lose your worth and we will vanish in to the night.   The best that can be hoped for by most is that we don’t take a blood sample on our way out.

Image is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.  Use of this image should not imply endorsement by the image author, Wikimedia Commons user OppidumNissenae.

Candle Flames ... Psychopaths and Identity


    • Anathema says

      It was meant to be. Many psychopaths will enact the nuclear option when cutting someone out of their life. It could be vengeful such as through gossip or financial parasitism or, for some, it can literally turn violent.

      • Anonymous says

        Yes, I know. I was involved with a psychopath. I experienced the violence firsthand. It’s why I started reading your blog. I appreciate the way you write and it helps me understand somewhat how his mind worked.

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