It seems that neurotypicals (NTs) are attracted to the joy and pain of others without giving the slightest thought to the actual worth that person brings to the table. I cannot, and probably never will, understand the need for NTs to become involved so deeply in the lives of others in such a fashion. It seems that the only time people have worth for many NTs is when there is accomplishment or suffering. Hey, let’s go wish so-and-so a happy birthday! Let’s go visit some-nobody because he broke both of his legs! There is little actual thought, it seems, as to what constitutes the energy expenditure with regard to others. NTs seem to be drawn to the flames of situations requiring empathic energy and are nowhere to be found otherwise.
Maybe it is because I am much more selfish with my interactions with others that such an observation bothers me. Every interaction is calculated and is evaluated for worth. If there is not a benefit to me (of which, maintaining the status quo is a benefit in, and of, itself), I will not be found. I am an equal opportunity opportunist. The standing of another in life means little to me except insofar as it serves me. I feel no reason to join the circle jerk of congratulatory or compassionate behavior of NTs when a situation dictates it.
My grandfather nearly died two weeks ago from arrhythmia of the heart. The cards and well-wishes poured in, yet no one would take any time out of their day to be involved in his life before such a scare. Everyone wanted to stand up and be counted, but no one wanted to expend the energy worthy for such; they wanted their presence to be found for “free”. Likewise my various personal social media outlets exploded in activity as people wished an acquaintance of mine future success regarding a major life event that he just went through. Why does it take such pain or joy for others to take notice? To go back to the moth analogy, NTs are merely flying and flittering about in the most chaotic of ways until something deserving of an empathic response is required.
Do not misunderstand me, I do not pretend to be in any grouping that champions continual and attentive actions regarding others. My interactions have been, and will always be, calculus-based. I just find it so infuriating that such fuckfests of emotion are considered acceptable and mandatory substitutes for true human interaction. If it takes an injury or a joyous life event to draw in the attention of others, then why isn’t everyone slamming hammers to bone? I’d much rather maintain my own personal metric toward others: I could care less about what you are going through, but I will always be there so long as you provide worth to me.