College was a time of great liberty but little self-growth. I was on my own two feet and could do as I pleased, but I learned very little about myself – only the world around me.
Those days were fascinating. I got to meet many types of people. Gay. Straight. Religious. Atheist. Bohemian. Traditional. So many types of people. Meeting such people greatly expanded my ability to pick up on the characteristics and mindsets of many. I did not realize it at the time, but such was essential to learning the functions of the neurotypical.
The differences that I saw in my adolescent days were only magnified as a legal adult. I was the relative loner, preferring company only when it benefited me unless there was alcohol involved. I was known as a legendary drinker and such a reputation would eventually get me into hot water with the campus “behavioral correction” office and the local police. I lived life hard and to my own tune.
I studied subjects that pertained to logic. Mathematics and programming were the focus of my days. Such fields of study avoided much of the frustration that I knew I had with people. Logic is sound. Logic is cold. Being surrounded by the logical undergraduates studying the same things that I was studying ensured that there was minimal focus on illogic. Yes, I was different than my fellow students, but I could appreciate that they could focus on the impersonal rather than studies that involved emotion and interpersonal contact.
I excelled at my studies and would eventually graduate with honors. However, while others were studying for finals for graduate-level courses (that I was taking as a junior), I would be out having a debaucherous time. I was confident and arrogant with my abilities and by the end of my studies, I would go to class only for exams, which I would ace easily.
Even though I was sure of my own abilities, I would often cut corners. I would commit to extracurricular projects, such as tutoring, and then outsource the actual work while retaining a profit. Sometimes I would set up such extracurricular contracts and then not fulfill the obligation at all, having only been concerned about the initial status from such an association.
There were other clues regarding my psychopathic personality, but those are too sordid to publish here.
It was during these years that I met my ex-spouse…