Risk

The psychopath, generally, embraces risk.  The stakes are high and the reward can be great.  I can’t speak for all psychopaths, but I can relate my own experiences.  I do not have the fear of failure that most have.  I do not fear permanence, either.  Every action we make in life follows us to some extent until the day we cease to exist.  Each word, each decision, ripples into the future: some with greater consequences than others.  Having accepted this, risk only makes sense.  I have one short life to accomplish as much as I can.  If every action I make is irreversible, then why wouldn’t I focus on the positives that could be rather than the misfortunes that also could be?  Why would I be satisfied with the status quo?

Whether it is changing jobs on a whim or moving as frequently as I do, I am constantly engaging in risk.  My escape plan is always the same.  Should things go wrong, I merely move on.  I admittedly do not think about how best to make my escape; I simply vanish into the night.  Yes, such is a detriment to those I leave behind, but that is not my concern.  I do not let the impact toward others affect my ability to engage in risk.  I also do not let unknown consequences hold me back.

Impulsivity also fuels this risk-taking.  Actions can easily add up to paint a bigger picture of risky behavior.  I operate according to what computer science terms a ‘greedy algorithm’.  I always choose the action that results in the largest and most immediate gain.  Whether this is changing jobs for a few dollars more or abandoning engagements and obligations for more immediately beneficial meetings, I am constantly eschewing the status quo for what is more satisfying in the moment.  This approach can lead to great satisfaction as no time is spent spinning my wheels, but it can also be deleterious if those optimal, according to the moment, decisions lead me to a worse status than simply accepting “stagnation”.

I accept permanence, am unafraid of failure, and choose the “best” route in the moment.  All of this leads to a love of risk and a lack of fear toward it.  Others may be content with the status quo, but as with the algorithm described above, I am “greedy”.  I want to get as much out of this life and risk is key to that end.  As with my disdain toward stagnation due to issues of morality, I move forward when others are standing still because I am able to embrace that which others fear.  Whereas others will let their own concern of their morality and their stability hold them back, I will move forward.  Yes, one day, it could explode in my face.  Until then, I will keep moving forward and fill the void that others dare not touch.

I end this post with a musing I shared to my Twitter and Tumblr followers:

People fear permanence for reasons that I will never understand. Each action ripples throughout eternity, not just ‘major’ ones. Maybe that acceptance of permanence is why I am unafraid of risk. If I can’t change what has been done, should I not shoot for the stars?

 

Memento
Hear No Evil, See No Evil

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