Respect … Readying the Blade

My right hand offers a warm handshake while the left is at my hip, ready to draw my blade.  Such is the nature of respect in my life.  Respect is the ultimate force in my relationships with others.  Those that I respect, I keep relatively off-limits to my manipulation and destructive forces.  However, I am no fool.  I realize that anyone, for any number of reasons, can become a liability.  I’d rather be scheming plans that will hopefully never see the light of day than to be flatfooted should the need arise.

I respect few.  Only the intelligent, the savvy, and the equal need apply.  These people have earned my respect as exemplary individuals worthy of it.  No one earns my trust, however.  There will always be items that I withhold and aces up my sleeve.  Do not misunderstand me, I do not have a paranoid fear of being bested by these individuals; I merely always keep advantage by my side.  I would rather have my “knife” in waiting than to have no exit strategy should anyone try to gain the upper hand on me.

Why would I “waste” the energy for restraint with these individuals?  Just as wearing a mask is a conscious decision, so is marking people off-limits.  The reasons are twofold.

Everyone needs allies.  I don’t mean in a shallow sense.  I want allies that are strong themselves and can do more than just breathe my air.  I could have many allies that I do not respect, but they are simply undependable, stunted, and have a lack of ability that could be a liability as well.  The strong surround themselves with others who are strong.  I expect as much or more from those I respect as they do from me.  I hope to never be in a position where I must depend on these allies rather than my own hands, but I am not foolish enough to believe that I will never need assistance in a time of need.

The other reason is more nebulous but is more important to me.  Those that are off-limits are off-limits by choice.  It may not be advantageous for myself in many respects to limit myself, but I have an inexplicable sense of honor toward those that I feel deserve it.  I do not know why I have such a fixation on such an intangible, but it is present.  It is almost as if I am tending to an endangered species.  Its rarity mandates reverence.  Such is the person that I respect, for they are equally rare.

I respect those that deserve it in my eyes.  I do this out of honor and out of strategic gamesmanship, but I never forget that anyone, especially those intelligent and savvy enough to garner my respect, can become a parasite or threat themselves.  Because of this, my respect is a guarded one.  Until they lose my respect, they have nothing to fear.  Should they lose my respect, I am ready to go for the throat.

Love, Respect, Ownership
Legitimacy

Comments

  1. B.T. says

    “The thing is, though… psychopaths will never respect you. You’re not someone that plays the game.”

    FNP, I have been pondering two concepts from this post. If you have a moment, can you expound two things:

    1) psychopaths will never respect you.

    How does Respect manifest itself, as you consider the relationships you have with anyone whom you may respect? I have been thinking about how Respect is shown by an NT. We tend to be kind, thoughtful… we don’t waste each others time, we’re candid with each other, and we’re careful not to do things that might cost us that person’s Respect. I think we have to feel they are ‘worthy’ of our respect, and you can tell by how we treat such persons – the things we do or don’t do.

    Jessica wrote a thoughtful commentary on the topic (‘Respect – Readying the Blade), and I got out of it that for her, ’Respect is the ultimate force in my relationships with others’. That in manifests as trying to minimize manipulation (whether the mask stays on or not, I think), and having such people’s backs using all of the means at HER disposal to do so. That they have to ‘deserve’ her respect, but are therefore also intelligent, savvy, etc, So to those points, I think she and I are fundamentally saying the same thing. As a psychopath, she added one other Point that, while it may be present in NT’s, is a lot LESS present, which is that she is also equally ready with the shiv should it be necessary, and has enjoyed thinking thru 1,000 scenarios of that too, to ensure no one ever gets the drop on her.

    I am interested in how Respect manifests for you.

    2) You’re not someone that plays the game.

    Can you expound on ‘the game’? Is the only way an NT is determined to be ‘playing the game’ is by their being controlled by the psychopath? Or, seeing thru the game and still being standing there, so you have to work harder at the game to maintain control (like the amount of effort to steer a car on a curvy road, vs a straight one)? Or do you have to be a psychopath one’s self, to be viewed as even being CAPABLE of ‘playing the game’?

    When I consider ‘you can’t be respected, because you’re not playing the game’, given that I’m an NT, that makes it sound like there is a way to be respected, but surely it doesn’t come from being manipulated? I would think such a person would be viewed as weak, actually – that they DIDN’T see what was going on, and you were the marionette as it were…

    I am interested in what ‘playing the game’ is, and further, how the concept of Respect figures into the game as you define it – how you earn/deserve/whatever respect as viewed by BOTH the psychopath and the NT person themselves (like if you respect someone based on your concept of respect, does their concept of respect matter?) OR how Respect is garnered by anyone, fellow psychopath or not. I can also imagine a viewpoint where ‘respect for playing the game’ means folks who are fairly equally matched at manipulation and control, where neither particularly gets one up on the other – perhaps you would ‘respect’ such a person, which really just means enjoying the volley of TRYING to get the upper hand. But can’t you just do that with a destruction cycle, where you’re mortal enemies, out to destroy each other as entertainment?JESSICA – if you have any current ponderances on these topics, I am interested in your expounding as well, as you have time.

    • FNP says

      I think you probably meant to stick this somewhere else…

      Regardless… you do have one major flaw in your reasoning. Jessica is rather low on the psychopathy spectrum, and also has BPD. Also, it seems pretty clear you think that I respect people.

      There are people that I place a higher value on due to their contribution to how I live my life. I don’t respect people in general, and especially don’t respect people who try to lord it over me.

      As to “playing the game”, the very fact that you’re an NT means you cannot ever play the game of power to the extent that any psychopath can. At some point, you’ll have to make a choice between the path to power and your morality, and you’ll choose your morality as there are lines you won’t cross. The same doesn’t hold true in my case.

      As far as people respecting me goes, that’s actually quite easy. For the few, I use rational argument to ensure they like me. For the rest, I just appeal to their feels.

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