Have you ever watched a film or play and retched in disgust because of the subpar and awful acting in it?  It is as if there is a giant disconnect between what should be said or portrayed and what actually is.  I have a very similar reaction when I am around highly emotional people.  The combination of my disgust for their outpouring for self-validation and reassurance when they are having tough times and my inability to empathize with them leads to a explosive situation.  It is as if I am watching a game show, know the answer to the question that is stumping the contestant, and want to scream at the television hoping that the idiot will see the error of their ways.

I don’t know if this disgust I feel in these situations is true, in general, of psychopaths.  I also will admit that I am a bit hypocritical here as there are times when I am placed in similar situations in which I want that support from others that I simply will not give when the roles are reversed.  I just want the waterworks to stop and for progress to be made; life is cruel, sometimes the best we can hope for is damage control.

I remember a time in which a friend of mine was tearfully recounting the suicide deaths of the mother and father of a family unit in which she showed affection for.  She was an emotional mess as she described the subsequent deaths, mere days apart, due to the overdosing by both individuals.  The orphans left behind were not hers, but she was still distraught thinking about their situation.  I tried my best to fake empathy and show concern, but in reality I was more focused on holding back the ever-increasing need to yell at her and to show her that she was worked up over nothing.  Her display of illogical self-suffering over those kids was disgusting to me.  I interact with people, not animals, and I expect those around me to act like the high-functioning people they should be.  I simply cannot do anything but retch when I see such a primal state of emotion with no action.

Life is cruel; sometimes the best we can hope for is damage control.

Housekeeping notes: It has been pointed out to me, several times, that the comment prompt is confusing at best.  As noted on the ‘rules’ page, name, e-mail, and website are NOT required for commenting – the comment will simply show as by ‘Anonymous’.  I have dug into the PHP and updated the stock comment prompt to reflect this.  As always, feel free to comment, contact me, or do as you will.  If you have questions, I’d be happy to answer and it could lead to some more interesting posts in the future.


By Any Means Necessary

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