This is the last of three posts regarding disclosure. The first tackled coming out as transgender, the second as psychopathic, and this post will compare and contrast those revelations.
The similarities and differences of coming out as psychopathic and coming out as transgender are striking, but not wholly unexpected. The two groups are very similar. Both groups are composed of people that are not ‘the norm’. Both groups contain some deceptive features. Both groups are, in general, hated.
With both revelations, some were apt to consider me a wolf in sheep’s clothing. They believed that I was actively out to fool and deceive and harm others, either by the gender I adopted or by my innate psychopathic traits. They refused to acknowledge the individual, just the traits as a whole. When they did acknowledge me, it was to disparage me and to harm me, even if, ultimately, such attempts failed.
It was extremely interesting coming out as transgender. Even though the group is one of the more hated minorities on earth, some acquaintances wanted to make sure that I felt accepted and loved. They wanted to remind me that such persecution was unwarranted and that I should be proud of who I am. This is interesting because it is in direct contrast to the general perception and acceptance of psychopaths. Psychopaths are as hated, if not more hated, regardless of whether they behave poorly or not. The individuality is often lost the second the word ‘psychopath’ is uttered.
Everything in life is choice. I can choose to do good, bad, or otherwise regardless of my gender identity and psychopathy. People want to make me equivalent to those traits, however. They want to associate the word ‘transgender’ with me and the word ‘psychopathy’ with me. They do not want to examine the space of all such individuals and to undertake the critical thinking required to make rational beliefs of those individuals. Whether I receive well-wishes or cautious acknowledgement is beside the point. Their reactions stemmed from their view of the larger group and not of me.
Coming out as a member of two hated minorities made me realize that we live in a society that does not critically think. We want to distill the whole down to the part and dilute the part into the whole. Regardless of what the individual does, we stigmatize him with the actions of a few within the whole. We assume that she will behave badly because some other that is like her has before. I belong to two groups that are composed of deceivers. One group may, in general, deceive without intent of harming others. The other may deceive for the fun of it. Ultimately though, it is the individual that matters. I’ve lost many friends because of the groups I belong to. I’ve gained many more for the same reasons. However, I’m convinced very few of them actually look inside me for my blood, my sweat, my tears, and my actions.