Recap – September 2013

Per the usual, the last day of the month is a shameless plug of choice posts over the past month with some bonus commentary.

Pandora – When I was diagnosed as a psychopath after the urging of one of my acquaintances to figure out why the hell I was so different than most, it led to a great period of introspection. I knew the stereotypes that are assigned to psychopaths and I also knew that I, undeniably, held the traits that were identified via the PCL-R. I was warned by the professional administering the assessment that there would be a price to pay either way as a result of learning whether I was a psychopath.  Ultimately, it opened Pandora’s box, because now I can no longer deny what I am good at – I can just more easily identify when I’m behaving or thinking differently than the neurotypical.

Revelation: Metamorphosis, Assurance, and Précis – The parallels between coming out as transgender and coming out as a sociopath to those that deserved to know were astounding.  Many believed that I was being deceptive in my time before those revelations, many left, and the few that stayed never thought of me in the same light ever again.  Both conditions require deception, and both require a certain level of staying in the shadows.  The shadows are where I will have to reside from here on out in order to not fall to the judgment of others.  Such a hidden place is also great for future endeavors and schemes.

Bloodlust – Psychopaths are often driven by immoral and destructive impulses.  From my own experiences, the restraint needed to avoid such destruction is exhausting.  However, we can reach maturation and we can find other avenues for our tendencies.

Idle HandsThe Devil’s Workshop – I try to stay busy.  I know that if I am not busy, that I become far more unsatisfied and bored than I am usually.  Given where my thoughts and actions can lie, what would the impact of being idle be?  I suspect, such idleness can lead to extraordinarily bad actions, for my own sake and for the sake of others.  The old adage is true for the psychopath especially.  Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.

Voodoo – The difference between sadism and psychopathy is fine.  However, psychopathy does not require the harming of others for fun.  Psychopaths also are not required to revel in the suffering of others.  That said, we certainly can commit such actions.  Often the violence we commit serves other needs, if only to abate the insufferable boredom.  I am not convinced that psychopaths must be sadists in order to register.  This is where the difference between ASPD and psychopathy is most apparent.

Chronos – I am absolutely convinced that the psychopath has a potential for much greater achievement in life compared with the neurotypical.  We are ruthless and don’t focus on the emotional needs of others.  This allows us to move forward when others are crippled by their own limitation.  Time waits for no man, why not get everything we can out of this short existence?

Meat Shield – I threw my gay sibling under the bus in order to make my own transgender revelations sit better with my family.  It didn’t work, it greatly hurt him, and ultimately it was a waste of my energy.  I don’t feel bad about what I did in the least, however I do wish I could have done it with better efficacy.  Such is just one example of how the psychopath will gladly use others to deflect or absorb the bullets of responsibility we face every day.  Why would I suffer damage for my actions when someone else can take the fall?

Lunar – All of you idiots that are convinced that psychopaths must be uncontrolled lunatics that maim and kill will have a special place in hell.  Hopefully I’m in charge of that section.


140 ft / second

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