Nitroglycerin

The irritable psychopath is not a pleasant person.  Our poor behavioral control means that we can detonate with the simplest of mishandling and often there may be no good way to engage us if we are irritable.  Personally, I can never tell what sets me off, but I can recognize the fire in my eyes when I am such.  When I am irascible, you best leave me alone.  Something as simple as locking eyes could make you my enemy.

There seems to be no rhyme nor reason as to why some things set me off.  Something as minor as inconvenient news may have me plotting your total destruction.  Something as major as slamming into my vehicle and driving off?  Not so much.  I wouldn’t say that irritability is a constant state, either.  However, some things cause us to enter that state, and once we are in it, it is best to handle with care or stay as far away as possible.  Like nitroglycerin, the irritable psychopath is ready to blow if mishandled.

I like to think of psychopathy as being a hyper-elevated state of being logical.  It is logical to be self-serving.  It is logical, and advantageous, to not get wrapped up in the pitfalls of emotional empathy.  However, our irascibility is not logical.  We lash out like four year-olds, frustrated with everything but not exactly knowing why.  The more anti-social side of me kicks in when I am like this.  When you’ve gotten caught in the storm, I am imagining everything from taking away the positives in your life to assault.  Honestly, the only mistake others around me often make during these times are to be nearby.  Like triggering a Claymore, there was no intent in contributing to my angered state, but the destruction will still be total.

A few days ago, someone gave me bad news that requires inconsequential effort on my end to address.  The bad news did not, alone, anger me, but the way in which the news was delayed and presented caused me to shed any boundaries on my abilities.  In the days since, I have been nothing short of a nightmare to those crossing my path.  The trivial interactions that these people have had with me have only fueled my rage and irritability even if they meant no harm.  Ultimately it doesn’t matter, until I cool back down, these people are playing with fire.  No one has been ruined or harmed yet, but the energy required by me to stay on the side of morality and lawfulness has been immense.

I am curious if other psychopaths have found patterns to what causes them to enter this state of anger, wrath, and irritability.  I am frustrated with my mindset during this time, because I feel that it is an abandonment of logic.  I feel that I must burn those around me, but I don’t know why.  God help you if you are foolish enough to actively bait me during this time.  You won’t get a chance to do it again.

 

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Comments

  1. Jake says

    I believe it is an attempt to seize control when we feel we are not in absolute control of an event or situation. Ironically, it’s called “losing control”, but the contrary is the truth… it’s a grasp for control. Very much like a tantrum in a child who doesn’t get their way.
    I too feel disgusted when I “lose control”. But in reality I must admit that on some level I must love the power it gives me over everyone. When in these moods everyone around me is walking on eggshells, cowering at my glare. It’s a bit of a power trip. The payoff must be worth more than the consequences, why else would I continue to do it?

  2. Oxi says

    I’m very territorial. I think that anyone that defies my authority gets me off. It’s not a single action but those small insignificant incidents that heats me like water. Imagine this day line:
    I’m sleeping and some idiot puts music too loud and wakes me up. I’m momentarily angry. A few hours later I’m watching tv and my mother enters the living room and changes the channel. I go out, as I walk down the street someone stops me to ask for directions, for that I have to take out my earplugs. I reach the supermarket and the line is huge and some old lady decides me to tell me about her brilliant son living in Paris.

    Having a day like this can get me to a horrible mental state. For days. I’ll have to try really hard to not punch some random stranger that looked weird at me.
    Because they didn’t tried to gain their space. They simply did whatever they wanted.
    But yet someone can try to rob me and I’ll pretty ok lol. Because when theif comes and try to rob me they are trying to intimidate me. They’re trying to gain their space by fear. And I can actually fight back. I can look inside the eyes and say no. They will get scared because I’m not scared. I’ll see how nervous they are and etc.

    I think any psychopath value the rituals of domination/submission. If a person is unaware of these rituals or simply not obey then, drive us off. You know when a dog that doesn’t behaves like a dog is put inside of a group of dogs that act like dogs? All the other dogs attack him and try to force him to behave like a normal dog should.
    I think that’s it. Our anger is just our internal animal trying to teach the other human to behave like a human.
    I’m talking to much. To make this short: psychopaths are extremely primitive. We behave like animals. We follow animal rules. We need clear sings of dominance/submission. All our actions are guided by instincts. But the society completely lost this feature.
    I mean natural rules. Laws aren’t natural rules.
    Psychopaths follow natural rules. Like stealing for example. That’s something pretty common in the animal kingdom. A wolf can try to eat a piece of the prey the pack catch when, before the alpha male finished or gave permission to do so. He will sneak out the coroners and try.
    I’m probably complex to understand. My English is self dictate.
    Email me someday. I think would have interesting discussions hehe.

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